tsk tsk, just when pastor's gonna do some break out series, i break out.

haha, rubbish. my face is peppered with little dots, just kill me. kill me now...

can't wait can't wait for friday to come!! lisaaaa could we go out for some ice cream too.. it's more of a need than a want haha

oh but wait, does sugar cause zits?? hmm, oh what the hey it's too late already i guess.. hormones have done their damage well ):

my fever on sunday disorientated me urgh.. wait disoriented? umm, you get the idea..

just posting to let people know i'm doing alrighty! yup yup

till better days, cheerios!!

ok so i finally summoned enough courage to do what i thought was the right thing to do.

so maybe it wasn't but i tried.

still confused at the outcome, i never really know what you're thinking.

to try and salvage the situation might be futile, but hey i'm gonna give it one last shot.

here goes.

i thought it wasn't satisfactory cos it wasn't genius enough ( i'm getting that alot nowadays, i wonder what's missing in my life)

but i'm thinking i thought wrong? maybe you wanted something else, hence the comment.

but anyway, that's why i requested an example, to find out what you thought was satisfactory.

that went down the wrong road, strange how things work out.

where we are now is killing me, self reproach = self mutilation, so i'm not doing so well

last night, my parents fought over the remote. yes, screaming and railing cos of a remote. i think i forgot how to be happy.

i was told by my emotions to transcend my static confining inhibitions, to step out of my doltish devotion to conformity.

i pride myself on being a thinker.

oh the moment of folly.

to be rid of emotions, that would be a dream.

but then again... i wouldn't know joy when i'm with you..



chemistry drives me insane.
i apologize for any cranky-pants behaviour in advance.

Art is.......

Complex simplicity.
Dull vibrance.
Single myraids.
Uninspiring muse.
Bitter sweet.
An expression of love.
Hence, there is no definition.

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

just started pondering over the whole getting attached scene.. this is all charlene's fault!! i am a focused, God-loving student and she had to plant thoughts in my head hahahha

while we did come to a conclusion that both parties have to be spiritually mature before it is wise to go into a relationship, we recognise the temptations that arouse us.. the key to countering that i believe, would be to fully buy into the above's lyrical genius..

that God leads.. and everyone else who comes your way haa a very high possibility of being part of that broken road..

this is TOTALLY random, i was just bored of doing my physics project.. i dream of getting an A for it you know, it's become a more tangible reality after i got my grades from my test back.. *grins like a fool*

i dream alot.. they get vivid.. too vivid.. i can see the lines of expression on your face, the glint in your eyes.. i can see the colours of our backdrop, i can hear the chirp in your voice.. haunting i know.. must be the increased intensity of my thoughts nowadays.. and there i was naively thinking that was physically impossible..

the human brain boggles my mind (this sentence boggles my mind...)

but seriously. i am truly amazed at how incredible our brain is.. the average human uses like what 5-10% of it? amazeballs!! in my mind i'm thinking, only a divine being can think up such a magnificent organ..

on to more randomness? i'm glad to oblige

i was thinking i totally wanna write a novel of some sorts!! but yea yea like all my other unfulfilled dreams this prolly doesnt stand a chance.. but i've read from the best! you never know.. i just might be some best selling author in the future.. heh..

my dream book? a thriller.. a spine-tingling, mind blowing thriller.. with a subtle message that would touch your heart, but only if you're intellligent to pick it up.. sounds perfect!!

perfectly impossible for my inadequate mind haha

anyway, i know this is like the millionth time i'm saying this but i am embarking on a lose-the-flab regime!! hmm we'll see if i can stick to it lol.. won't condemn myself by saying it won't? but, things aren't exactly optimistic haha.. all the best to me!

now i have to go look for pictures of rotting teeth.. whee

coruscation dims to pure darkness.
without power, i cannot live.
i shall not live.

the qabalistic nature
our esoteric whispers
longed for, hoped for, wished upon a star for

the inexplicable inclination,
with its undeniable existence
it haunts me.

"if you love me, won't you let me know"
- violet hill, coldplay


exam week next week!
wish me all the best!!
we all know the effects of stress on me.
it ain't pretty y'all..
keep me in prayer,
i like to think i'm in your prayers :)

Flakes of dust fall from the eyes
Awake my soul, from eternal slumber
Woe the will, like lines between clouds
My spirit shall surmount

Listen to the orchestra,
The tuning of heart strings
Compositions of tragedy
But cresendoes, subdued



in case you're a poetry idiot, that was an uplifting poem.. and i wrote it cos....

I FEEL LIKE I SURVIVED A STORM haha..

so on saturday's altar call i had a vision of a freshly sheared sheep.. it looked cold and confused.. but the mesage was that every sheep has to go through a season of shearing.. you may experience cold and nakedness, but if God doesn't shear you, you might die of overheating or something ( ok basically, shearing is good for you )


it was a simple reminder of a simple fact.. a fact that constantly gets overlooked.. that discomfort is only part of the way God takes care of you haha, oh he is so lovely (:


to make lisa happy, i shall tell yáll a very personal thing then..


so a couple of weeks ago at TPM ( the last time i went la..) i had a vision of a submarine which was painted on the outside to look like a fish.. and the message was loud and clear: "you people always claim to do the things of God, always thinking that you are doing things My way. but it is a facade! the things you do are masked and packaged to look like My hands are upon it, but it is all man made!"


woah harsh, when i recieved it i was like yea yea!! some people are always like that! say they are doing things for God's glory but in fact they are doing it for their own glory!


pfft ignorant boob.. yea, i completely did not see how the message was for me! my worry for cell, my displeasure, my discouragement.. all branched out from the very fact that i was using human strength all along.. i prayed for my eyes to be open.. and opened they are...


feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, i can finally breathe again.. and the air is wonderful


psst lisa, i think you'd be happy to know i still get the visions? hahaha i hope you're reading this though.. cos i know my blog is sorta in a coma now haha.. i refuse to prod it unless something epic happens.. i'm a busy girl, in a busy world........

Open My Eyes

Saviour of my soul
I worship You as God alone
Greater love has made a way to You

I could not forget
The moment I in faith confessed
For my sin You died and rose again

I believe every word You say
Father God with all my heart I sing

Open my eyes
I want to see
Your glory
Your glory Lord

I open my heart
I want to be closer
closer to You

Here I am again
I find my strength in drawing near
You have heard the desperate cry in me

And as I wait on You my God
I'll know the voice of truth
In quietness I am in awe

And as I worship You my Lord
I understand the cross
The sacrifice of God



you know how sometimes you want something so much it hurts that you don't have it?

I.want.more.of.God

it might not have been the best of weeks.. heck, it might not have been the best of months, or years.. but still i say i choose you..


this week was particularly bad.. but it made me realise one thing.. it made me realise how important the friends in your life are.. they can be people who build you up, or tear you down.. they can be your pillar of support, or the rock tied to your feet..

thank you. you were there when i needed you.

ps: charlene. if we ever fall for the same guy, i'd totally let you have him HAHAHA.. just saying, that's how much you mean to me ok!!

pps: ok fine, seeing how you always tell me i wont find someone.. i think you wont even need me to give him up *sobs* BUT the point is that i choose sisters over misters k!!


oh i realised one more thing this week.. life sucks when you're not close to God.

shallow huh, i mean c'mon you're a leader sarah! surely you knew that!


i guess i kinda did, but i never realised how empty it can be, until i really went through darkness..

for how dark can darkness be? there will be a limit to how deep you can sink.. but from there, light comes.. the light of life.. so hold on, the light shall come