" You don't have to feel close to me. You are. "

Where did the good times go?
Why, they never left..

I love you guys so much I would gladly be put to death if it means that you be happy and healthy.
Will you do me a favor?
Be that.
It'll help me sleep at night.

P/S: though I promised no emo posts, this is for their eyes and I want them to see it.

Have you seen it?...

♥

With regards to the comment on the previous post, I have come to discover that there is no such thing as privacy on the internet.

Privacy is what you make it. And my heart is not opened.

The torture of sifting through everything I really want to say.
The agony of watching the misintepretation of the posts.
The brutality of watching eyes waiting to twist my irrational empty words into something to use against me when the world makes sense again.

I am emotional.
Allow me to be.
So I hereby declare this space to be for the occasional spiritual insights and/or mindless rants.

Like how I burnt myself in the science lab today.

For the second time in my life I reached my hand over the open flame of a bunsen burner. The first time was not my fault, cow was passing me something and to get to it I had to reach past his bench, hence his flame. He put it in non-luminous and so I didnt realise his flame was on.. I thus reached out....... and the rest is history. I ran with hand over cold water and it was fine..

Well today, the flame was mine. Oh how I marvel at my stupidity.

I set the flame to non-luminous, forgot the flame was on, then reached over the flame to get an agar plate. Since I was wearing latex lab gloves, the gloves caught fire. (haha yea laugh if you must..) in shock, I blew at the flame to extinguish it, but I was also blowing at the glove and it came into contact with my bear skin. The latex glove got seared unto my wrist.

My wrist looks like it got branded now. Too bad the scar is not in the shape of a lighting bolt or something. Pity.. It just looks like I tried to kill myself and slashed my wrist is a very careless manner.. Messy line ):

In case you're wondering, yea it hurt. Occasional surges of pain still run up my arm. My pain tolerance went up 10 notches fer sure.. cos I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I shoved my hand into a naked flame so I had to grit my teeth and pretend nothing happened. When my classmates were all, " Something's buring can you smell it?!" I just pretended to be too busy to pay attention to their mindless chatter.. haha..

I deserve a pat on the back for not making a huge fuss over it. Plus I reckon the scar'll look pretty cool! It's been a good day..

How's that for mindless rant? :D

The doors have officially been closed.

Good night world!

Tired. Tired of it all.

How can I be sure it is worth it, when I cannot see the end.
Don't tell me I need not worry.
When all I can think of is how I've done wrong.
You who say we are not perfect expect me to be.
Mirror mirror be silent.
I cannot bear to look at you..

Sustenance is such an elusive thing. Fleeting, I might add.
Fingers cannot wrap around it, how then do I feed off it?
May depression be momentary. I've got no time to lose.

Time. We're all out of time.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

If love was an investment, be prepared to bankrupt. For who is to say your love must be reciprocated? But that is the essence of the most over and under-used four letter word in the English dictionary - That you do not love for spoils, you do not love to be loved. You love because He first loved.

Love always perserves. Don't love if you are not in it for the long haul. Don't love if along with it tag conditions.

Your conditions mean nothing in the eyes of He who matters.

Love the despicable, the destitutes. Love the immature, the annoying. Love the one who doesn't catch your eye. Love is a gift. A key that unlocks the chains of your hardened hearts. The hurts inflicted upon you can and will heal if only you let them. Holding on cause scars, ugly scars that will haunt, that will lurk in the shadows and devour you.

Love covers a multitude of sins. Yes, sins.
They sin against you, but did you not sin against them?
But love, oh love, it cleanses from within.

oh.my.goodness glee is the best show ever created.

watch.




I may not be a great singer, I go sharp all the time, I am not pitch perfect, I can barely harmonise and my acrobats are shameful.. But I love singing, and I know what I'm talking about when it comes to singers.

Show me an amatuer guitarist who shreds and I'll take him for a pro, cos I know nothing about that. If a person who sings in tune is a good singer to you, you probably know as much as I do about the guitar. I sing, so I care about the voice, the tone, the pitch.

And Lea Michele is amazing.
Now this, I could listen to all day long. And the band is really impressive. You have no idea how hard it is to pitch that high of a note on a trumpet. Your lips could cramp. I think I love glee so much cos it combines my two greatest love in the field of music - singing and band music. The perfect combination really.
 

On a side note, did you know MTV scraped the whole trying to pass off as a music channel shit? their logo, which was previously this

has now become this

haha, yup, it's no more music television. It's just trashy reality program television. Which I am totally fine with. Paris Hilton's my new BFF S2 is here! HAHAHAH

Music, like art, is up for interpretation. And the eyes that see are the ears that hear.

The wait with bated breath has come and gone, and I will not have delivered.
My apologies, abstract has it's time and place. And mood.
Today, concrete walls I shall build, astral territorials will have to wait.


yeap, i do realise i haven't been blogging.. you see, depression triggers artistic ability and linguistic endowment, so pardon me for being happy.. or at least, being too busy to be depressed.. hmm

so anyway i just felt like ranting.

do i expect you to sit back and hear me rant?
well yes, yes I do... hahha

ok so i recently discovered that my sister's boyfriend of uh.. a few months, is a fruit-seller's son.

imagine my shock.

no no before you point your finger and furrow your brows at me, let me explain.

See, my sister is... an elite. or so she considers herself to be.
Pretty, funny, kinda smart, musically talented.. the usual not so usual.
With a rap sheet of ex-es with at least a million dollars in equity, poor does not cut it.
oh, it doesn't stop there..
she concocted a list for her young and innocent baby sisters.

The MUST HAVEs and MUST NOT HAVEs of a potential partner:
(disclaimer: she came up with this, i promise you, she did..)

#1: MUST be rich. Private estate preferred, condominiums are barely acceptable unless placed in town area.
#2: MUST be from a respectable Junior College. Anything below SAJC is NOT respectable.
#3: MUST be handsome. Cute also acceptable.
#4: MUST be talented in either music or sports. All other talents are secondary.
#5: MUST drive.
#6: MUST NOT have stupid humour. Wit and brains are mandatory.
#7: MUST NOT stop at poly education. University shapes a person.

and the all-important..
#8: MUST NOT be chinese speaking. Chinese is for losers.



I must say that list is pretty thorough.

so anyway, the thing is.. her latest boyfriend? does.not.cut.it.

he is poor, not exactly the best looking guy, a poly grad, so lame that it's sad and...

C.H.I.N.E.S.E S.P.E.A.K.I.N.G... yesh, the dreaded #8...

my point of this horrifically offensive material?

when asked, why him?.. she could only say one thing.. that what it comes down to at the end of the day were three plain and simple things.
#1: That he was passionate about worship.
#2: That he loved her.
#3: That he loved God.

The list dwindled to a very attainable three. and that, in her very own words, "is all that matters."

Matthew 6:21
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I am proud of her, for discovering few things matter in life. And I am glad for her, that she found those few things.. wedding bells? perhaps hehh


If  "X" marks the spot, I wanna cling on to that cross forever..
(a lame-ass attempt at word play hahah)