reality struck me right smack in the middle of my face on saturday... so, really... no one is safe from the devil's persistence.. no one at all..


i really want to thank hanyang, he was a well-timed support..


i want to commit more time to you guys, but.... i can't, at least not now..


saturday was a.... im not sure if it's a good or bad thing, i experienced both.. God was really there, so strongly.. i couldn't breathe.. i found myself crying uncontrollably.. whether it's because of God or her.. i dunno.. but i cried till i thought i was going to die... cos i kept forgetting to breathe..



how can i give support when i myself need it?...


anyway hy was saying that i should take care of myself first etc... true i guess.. but my worrysome nature won't let me.. i gotta let go sometimes huh?.. preliems are not crawling by.. THEY ARE SPRINTING TOWARDS ME, FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET!!


i need more time.. i wanna hide in a cave where time stops... oh!! i can go to Narnia.. sigh... i bet u r getting frustrated reading this cos it's too random already... hah


sony ericsson w910i..... i was supposed to have u today.. why did u and your stupid promotion end last week?!?... from $48 u can jump to $188 just cos of a stupid promotion?!? where's the justice?!? i want u......... i must have u....


OH OH!! i feel the need to announce that the math grades were modified and i got E instead of S!!



so my grades are D D E E U not bad la hor?.. ((: kk, see my roller coaster emotions and random blabbering?.. means i lack sleep

HUIQIAN IS BACK!!!! and i really hope i can make it to the meeting with ahwei and qian la.. stupid school end so late for what?!!? sighh... NJC forever like that one.. lol.. BUT I WILL MAKE IT A POINT TO MEET UP WITH QIAN ONE!!! and ok la ok la.. meet ahwei too la... *whahah*


anyway, went to celebrate my fave person (LISA)'s birthday today!! ate so much i really wanted to puke.. now i wanna lose weight more than ever la!! especially after hearing that qian lost ALOT of weight... sigh.. NO FAIR!! haha.. i must lose AT LEAST 5kg by end of preliems.. (which is end august)


very possible right? maybe even too low of a target! I MUST HAVE DISCIPLINE!! exercise!! eat less!! (sigh... after today's pigging out.. HOW CAN?!? lol) anyway, today was quite fun la.. it's amazing how i can somehow ALWAYS become the butt of everyone's jokes.. this is a mystery!!


i mean i was sitting there minding my own business, poking at the you tiao of the rojak very unsuccessfully... then everyone start to say how JC ppl are stupid ppl.. (cant even poke you tiao properly..) then it just got worse.. from my small eyes to my weight.. sighh.. I WAS TOTALLY INNOCENT! i have to say that it is partly ada's fault though!! she was the first one to start poking the you tiao unsuccessfully la!!


and i was laughed at more when stupid coffee club's toilet is so stupidly located behind some totally unconspicuous door... and i tried to "open" a wall.... and after finishing up in the loo, they made me drink water with sugar, sweetener and salt... and the ultimate was when ana licked his smelly fingers and then come and touch my face!!


the smell alone was puke-inducing.. together with the bursting stomach and the insults..... sighh.. haha!! it was fun la.. hope lisa had a good time!!! lisa, although i not going gym with u tmr (cos it's weird, dun really know xav..) i shall try to run around my estate so i dun lose to u.. LOL!!


must lose weight must lose weight must lose weight..................


anyway, it's time to get down to business ans start the mugging machine up again.. took a long enough break la.. im recharged and ready to go!! preliems in exactly 7weeks... *why does time seem to pass so quickly whenever u don't want it to?...*

okok, after seeing abi's kinda threatening tag *shudder*.. i decided i shall be patient with my comp and attempt to revive my already-long-dead-blog.. it's like i have to wait SEVERAL minutes for a single page to load k.. it's painful la..



anyway, loads happened since my last post.. (which was a realllyyy long time ago if u haven't noticed (: ) there was church camp, amazing race, studying, a real fun cell group and loads more!! i had one of the best holidays ever.. i reall was very blessed from the church camp.. not just cos the speakers were AWESOME.. but also cos i got to know more AWESOME ppl and it's always great to make new friends.. ((:



pls ignore the fact that these friends are andy ong, anathan, weishun and jerry.. haha!! it's humilating being their friend... LOL!!! nahh... they r nice.. except ana.. he is totally ungentlemanly towards me.. sheesh..



anyway.. amazing race was... sigh, i wished i ran the race with my core group la.. but ppl like abi and esther "couldn't make it" *wink wink*, darius was away with his brigade ppl.. and half of the core was split from me.. but, i still had fun with KIRBY WEIWEIJIEJIE and XIAOMING!! ((: it was memorable la.. my arms kept cramping after the stupid rock climb la.. but at least i discovered i didn't gain THAT much weight till i couldn't pull myself up.. haha



cell group last week was SUPER FUN!!! though very extremely tedious to plan and execute.. it just gets harder each time the group grows.. BUT i love it when the group grows!! haha... lisa and i make awesome planners!! we make cell group fun ok?! everyone has to agree cos everyone said cell was great!! (((:



anyway.. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY DEAR GIANA!!! i love giana!! ((: though she doesn't read this blog i have to announce it.. she is really a great person.. funny, cute and STRONG... very very strong..



and HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMELINE!!! though she doesn't read my blog either... sighhhh... my stupid blog is dead.. haha!! but still, must wish happy birthday!! lisa's birthday is coming!! 24!! old rite?? but i love lisa.. she'll forever be the first one i turn to for everything.. (pssst... mainly food recommendations la..)



anyway.. i did relatively alright for my commom test la.. considering the amount of effort i put in, i did alright.. compared to a few ppl who put in so much effort and did worse than me.. by no means ami boasting, cos they are my friends.. seeing the hurt and disappointment on their face hurts me too, believe me.. "i put in so much effort.... but still like that.."



whoa... my heart goes out to them la.. sighhh.. but it's through them that i see how God has never left me la.. i got D D E S U.. which is kinda below average for NJ la.. but im happy.. considering my econs and gp teachers are one of the most strictest in school.. im cool! (:



hmmm.. long post.. enough to make up for the last 3-4 weeks?? i think so.. ((: happy abi?? haha

i know i know.. it's been a long time since i blogged.. but lots of things have happened and everyone knows wad a huge procrastinator i am.. *smiles to self*


anyway, i've been meaning to blog many things la.. but since now everything snow ball together, so got alot to write.. and im too lazy la.. but i gotta say this.. I LOVE MY SMALL GROUP!!! the outing was superb..


and it was the company that made it great!! i mean we were just lazing around and doing rubbish in the pool la.. for 4 straight hours!! it must be the great company that made it so fun!! really wished i could have stayed to have dinner with u all la.. )):


anyway, i went to settlers with the L2 gang.. it was quite fun la,although i have to say going with lisa and 3mao they all more fun.. cos we will try all kinds of stupid games, the stupider the better.. lol, the L2 gang was less crazy.. lol... amazing right?!! i mean i was there with TZEWEI leh!!


i know my blog is very sucky cos it's all words and no pics.. but.. but.. my phone sucks ma.. i cant connect phone pictures to computer.. so no pics to upload lo.. ): sorry la.. no pics of both the small group outing and the L2 gang outing.. ):


ok la, the reason for this post is cos i wanna say something... just one thing..
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if i had one super power, i would wanna have the power to make ppl love me


i know, it's a super random and probably worldly thought.. but then again, who wouldn't want it?.. i want it.. i hate working to gain ppl's trust and love.. it's tiring.. if only the ppl whom i love would really love me back..



and then i thought of something.. God has that power, he just refuses to use it.. cos he loves us too much to FORCE his love on us.. therefore i wanna make sure it's known that i love my God, because i know how it feels to love and not be loved.. i love him more than anything else in this world..


tell the ppl u love how much u love them today!.. not just cos they might be gone tmr or something (the cliche stuff).. but really cos, it hurts thinking that the ppl you love don't love u back..


sounds random huh?... but no, i've been thinking abt this.................