do you know what the worst feeling in the world is?..
being misunderstood..

there is nothing more frustrating and hurting than to be misunderstood..
for your intentions and words to be writhed into something you don't even recognise..
it cuts..

don't you get that i never meant to hurt you?

to be thought of as a conniving and spiteful person is just a degradation of my spirit..

would i ever scheme against you? speak badly of you on a public pedestal such as a blog? never.. ever..

i jump to your defence everytime someone speaks badly of you, because i thought i understood a glimpse of what goes on in that encephalon of yours that i truly respect..

if time could be manipulated, i would make sure i never allowed what happened to go down again..

i'm just... lost


flying away sounds awesome right now.. escapism, my haven

goodbye.i should have known when to shut the hell up.

it is done.




mmmm, freedom tastes so sweet. but the bitter after-taste of a bad paper still lingers.. why must chemistry even be invented?! pfft

anyway i am so STOKED for tmr! loveee that my small group consists of a bunch of brats who refuse to be exposed to the sun (and abi who can't cycle ?!!) so we're gonna buffet in an enclosed air-conditioned place instead!! yipee for food and air con lovers! hahahah

kirby may be going lissy!! drop by as soon as you can yea? :D

God has truly been amazing.. i take a step back and look at the progress of the small group and i am blown away.. we have become so close and i do believe growth is starting!

*does happy dance* mmm happy dance ~

haha i sound like i'm stoked in the high-on-drugs way instead of the ecstatic way



i just saw my mom dancing in the living room while blasting "One Way" no kidding.


my head is aching and this was a waste of time.. sorry bout that, i just felt the need to post something to inform the world my exams are finally over.. :D

here's a nice picture to redeem this loser of a blog post

yeap, i am a sucker for cute.

anyway, it was nice to feel the sun hit my cheeks today..

*gasp*

sarah's not wishing for rain?!

mmhmm, a lil sun never hurt anybody

*does sun dance*

wow i really am drunk.

this post is dedicated to a very special someone.. enjoy my dear!


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me: my momma told me i was sleep talking last night.. omg! i'm too stressed, sigh ):

him: if you're worrying about your studies, know that at the end you'll make it, you have what it takes! the hectic period is almost over, so you can focus on your studies.. OR if you're worrying that no guys will want you, then change your mindset as you are date-able.. If you worry that you are fat, know that you don't look fat, i'm just kidding with my insults. you must know the definition of a fat person and realise you are not catagorised under it. If you worry about cell this week, i don't mind planning it all with abi, i'll take sharing as well. if it's the mission group, then don't worry. i'm a socialising machine and can make people feel comfortable in the group. so nothing already right? nothing to worry about! hoho

aww. i have to say i almost teared. almost.

that's all it takes, a simple heartfelt one-of-a-kind message..

it made my night year..

and yea, he's right!.. there's nothing else to worry about lol.. i place my trust in him.. and God la heh

yup, this is for the absolutely lovely DARIUS, my pride and joy!!

let me post his charming face here :D

yes yes, despite his countless flaws (haha) like his irresponsibility, or his taste in music (yue liang dai biao wo de xin?!).. he is a gem, a pure gem.. i treasure him with all my heart..

he is very sensitive to your feelings and honestly, more guys should totally be like that lol! (yes dear, i'm totally promoting you to the ladies.. hehheh)

i think his wife will be the luckiest woman alive, i truly think so! maturity is certainly not portrayed in your ability to express yourself, cos this boy might not be the most expressive or eloquent (i'm not insulting you really LOL) but he is mature beyond his years, because his reactions to his situations and cirumstances are just... admirable..

to my seed who has grown into a majestic sycamore.. you are so loved and appreciated..

you know, this is truly the only reason why i'm still serving.. because through the tears and the sweat, the hurt and disappointments, i know i am shovelling into the lives of these seeds.. seeds just waiting to burst forth into beautiful trees that bear much fruit..

i love you all. so much, words can't express.

p/s: DISCLAIMER. i am not looking for a guy ok!! kindly ignore the whole date-able part lol! seriously.

i slept well :D

don't burst my bubble.. let me live in it for awhile

the kaleidoscope outside is grey

wait. wait upon him.

the love of the Lord endures forever.

breathe

Yup, the previous skin was a wreck, i know i know.. i was just anxious to find a new skin that had a white background.. white is good :)would you kindly highlight the whole of the previous post so you can see IT WAS NOT FOR YOU
tsk, what a way to celebrate my ability to breathe normally again.. thank God it's raining :D



shout out to you.. (you know who you are *wink*) people are there to keep you grounded!


it started off as a draft and it shall stay a draft.. practicing what i'm preaching haha..



anyway enjoy the simple white-washed skin estee! the percentage should be rather low hmm?dwell not.

The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21

oh how we have let our tongues loose
to curse and swear at the slightest things



With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness..



from the simple boast of a favored soccer team, the tongue can twist it into the utter insult and put down of another.. necessary? feelings are hurt, anger riled..



we are made to have different tastes and preferences anyway.. if everyone liked the same thing, supported the same team, listened to the same music, there'd be no invention and creativity in the first place.. no competition, no excitment.. so why attempt to make everyone like what you like?



and in the process, you defile your lips.. brilliant move
this is not a personal attack
wit and humour can morph into sarcasm, which bites.. watch your tongue



if emotions are stirred, what was the point of your 5 seconds of laughter?



different people have different degrees of tolerance and sensitivity.. be wise with your choice of words..



because your tongue has power.. it can bring life, or it can suck the very life you fight to preserve right down to the last drop..

rglbj tiy die agiqubf nw ainw dien id jubsbwaa klar bufgr.. u looewxulrw ur kilsa.. arukk nuaaubf tiy, bir l bwws vyr l qlbr.. *gyfa*


yeap, my brains are mush.. i think i shall go lay down for awhile cheerios!!

ThePeoplePleaser

stop trying.

you'll find out it's not worth it.

may all false pretenses fall from your heavy ladened face.

take it off, take it off.

the masks are blinding you.

when you're free falling into a ditch, don't say i didn't warn you.

stop trying.

Flowers blooming on the walls
Beckons the unsuspecting
The rush of the first steps

Intricates understood and loved
Barriers cracked and burned
Not looking back, forget the paths taken

A dead end
Walls cave in
Flowers withering
Concrete showing
Lost.

Walking turns to running
Whispers to screams
Panic sets in
Ceased roads

Clawing at the corners
Till blood drips from the nails
Blindfolds fell
Ear piece held in warm embrace

Futile attempts to escape
Await the last breath
Liberation.



i was just wondering how you define good poetry..

like i was watching friends and monica dated this guy, who in the middle of their date stopped to write a poem.. about an empty vase

so monica thought he was refering to her being empty yadayada cos she was dense about poetry..

i'm sure they teach you in lit school how to interpret a poem right?.. darn, what am i doing in science.. who cares about chemical reactions anyway?!!

i wonder if i'm dense about poetry.. questioning myself though, aren't literary works a mere expression of the author's inner turmoil? who then should be allowed to judge if it's a good work of art or not?..

i wanna study art.. but i can't.. cos i have to go learn about magnets and light now..

but then again what is science and art but mere categories made up by man.. the great philosophers like aristotle and plato were geniuses in both areas.. oh boy, this makes me wanna read.. and yet, a strange sense of inadequacy overwhelms for i know i comprehend little in the vast sea of knowledge..

There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.
-Aristotle-

hmm...


*then hunger distracts me* i wanna go scout for food now...

this is why i'm fat and dumb -.- hahahhahah

(:

hey abs, this is for you...

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and this is for me.. :D

has my readership sky rocketed yet?!!!


hahh.. actually, i love the fact that my blog's unknown and nobody gives two hoots about it.. helps me umm be freely expressive!

i see harsh times ahead..

but maybe it'll keep my mind off things

w.a.k.e. u.p.

yes.. time to face the cold reality sarah.. time to grow up ( i realise i keep saying this.. have.....to......mean.....it.....)

huo huo huo huo huo huo huo huo!!
thinking maybe singing the crouching tiger hidden dragon song would help lol..

ma ma ma ma
( shout out to ahwei :D )

for me? it's mug mug mug mug *sobs*

at the very end, you always think of the beginning..

but it'll be too late

Woman was created from the rib of man.
She was not made from a part of his head to top him,

nor was she made from his feet to be trampled on.
She was created out of his side to equal him,
under his arm to be protected by him
and near his heart to be loved.

i just thought couples cuddling on a bench would bring a smile to your face so i plastered them onto this post.. randomness..

and now i don't know what to say.. i had loads on my mind, but now they all seem so inappropriate haha..

i just wish sometimes i wasn't a complex individual.. i wanna be simple, have simple thought paths and hence conclusions..

to not dissect things and people the moment i face them would be such a blessing.. sometimes i feel like John Nash.. if only my brain had an off-switch.. to quote zoey, " you have constant brain activity" lol

ok moving on... i am so weird..

now the Japanese are normal like us...

LOL funny.. the whole idea of normalcy is whacked.. who's to say what's normal and what's not? to some, being normal is picking their noses and eating it.. i know some of you cringed at that.. proves my point.. you are only the standard for normal in your own eyes.. so what makes you any less abnormal than the next guy?..

.....mulling....

brings me to my next point on the majority effect.. so what if the majority of the people think a certain way? does that guarantee they're right? rhetorical qns, don't bother answering.. try telling me this though, why then, do they act as if they are?

let's move on since i know no one can give me a satisfactory answer..

i think to be able to take a dig at yourself is really what we need to do sometimes.. don't take yourself too seriously, uptight and anal people should be kept in jail..

actually if you think about it, insecure and egoistical people are one and the same.. they spend the same amount of time thinking about themselves.. the only difference is that one finds himself not good enough and the other finds himself too good for the rest of the world..

these two classes of people should probably spend some time realising we all have our flaws and our strengths.. so just get over yourself and perhaps think about things that truly matter..

why do i sound so angry?? haha i'm not.. i'm in an extremely calm state right now..

i have two essays to rush out by this week and i haven't even started on any.. yup, i AM blogging, this is not an illusion lol..

my grades aren't near satisfactory!! snap out of it sarah!! *proceeds to slap self*

ok i should probably get started sighhhhhhhhh

ciao for now.

p/s: i do realise this has been a mess to read.. it was just random blabbering, i do that alot..

p/p/s: in case you were wondering.. yes, i did intend to just post the whole woman and man part cos it was so sweet.. but i thought it would lead to unneccessary attention so i blabbed the rest of this mess out..

enjoy! ♥

I have a motive.

with every action done, word spoken, there is an intention behind it. a whole spectrum of motives behind why you do what you do.

to encourage?
to help?
to gain attention.
to show off.
to hurt.
to inflict pain.
to shame.
to get revenge.

we often forget to check our hearts in going through with something because we subconciously think satan can't outsmart us.

fools.

just because you do something that appears holy doesn't mean you are.

let's apply this concept to a very simple situation... our studies.

we all study, we all strive to do well ( ok, most of us strive to do well )
question: why do you study? why are you studying so hard? what's in an A?

the human mind easily formulates the most spiritual thing to explain this phenomenon.

I'm doing this for God's glory...

really? that is to say if you get straight As God gets ALL the glory? that is to say, if you don't do well after studying your butt off, God ís not glorified?

BULL.

open your eyes oh mascots of self-gratification.. you want to do well because you like being able to say you did well, the pride of satisfaction.. to show off? maybe...
may i please say i find nothing wrong with that per se.. but i do know that lying to yourself about your true motive is gravely dangerous..

the heart of the matter is exactly that, your heart..

spirituality is not in what you do, for there is nothing you can do to make you holy.. but i ask you, what's in your heart?

so you fight for your views to be heard..
because you want the "truth"to be known, or to prove the other's folly.. fine line, but a line nonetheless..

how about this?

so you desperately ask God to open the eyes of the people who wronged you..
because you love them and want them to see the truth and be set free from the lies in their hearts? or so you can think to yourself, "i knew i was right and they were wrong.."

perhaps sometimes it is you who are blind.

let everything you do be for the glory of God.
nay, i reject that sentence.
let your motive behind everything you do be with the intention of glorifying God..

check your heart always, because it is so easy to hide behind the facade of "righteous living". recognise the hypocrisy of human thinking and actions.

and i pray that one day WE may truly be living for the glory of God.

love conquers.
it conquers hate.
it conquers hurt.
it conquers the lies.
it conquers blindedness.
love, because He first loved us.
love, because it breaks you out of your strongholds.
love the very people who kicked you while you were down.
because they need your love.
they don't deserve your love or patience.
but neither do you of God's.