warning: the following post is long and possibly hard to digest. ignore if you
(a) are not a chirstian
(b) hate reading
(c) don't really care about what goes through my mind

DO read if you
(i) are a thinker
(ii) have questions about certain facets of christianity(?)
(iii) do care about what goes through my mind



the complexity of life is often overlooked, for the wishing of simplicity clouds our judgement.
but in the simplest of terms, our lives are like onions.
layers upon layers of raw flesh.
sweet aroma to some, tear bearers to others.


to look at life one dimensionally would be shallow.
common fallacies flood the way we think.
i know this, in my head, i really do.
but to un-think 19 years of a one-track mind is not easy.


when my parents' relationship hit rock bottom i asked myself why would a great man and woman of God treat the relationship God has given them so lightly? they were still awesome ministers, touching the lives of others. they heard from God, they saw visions for the church. they were possibly at the height of their "spiritual life"
disclaimer: the whole parents thing is no longer a big issue.. this is a recollection

if you ask me, admist their angered voices that reside in my head, if they were doing spiritually well.. i would have to say yes..

because i know that they love God with all their hearts, i know that they are still close to Him.. i see my parents pray for hours, read the word of God, seek him fervently.. hence i conclude, they are spiritually healthy.


the next question would be, then why on earth are they treating each other with distasteful disrespect?


SNN asked me once.. if a leader gets into a relationship before the time is right, henceforth giving up his ministry and his capacity to serve God all because of a girl, is he spiritually unstable?


with that somehow a lightbulb came on. i replied with confidence.

No, it doesn't mean since he is in a relationship therefore he is not doing spiritually well. he may be the closest to God he has ever been in all his life, but he is numb to a particular area.


similarly, my parents may be close to God at that time.. the simplistic straightforward train of thought would be, then why doesn't God speak to them about their relationship or about tolerance and love for each other?


perhaps He did! but they were numb.. we humans are selective hearers, we listen to what we wanna hear, and dismiss whatever we don't.. if we do that to each other, what makes you think we don't do it to God?


so i say to you, just because you feel closer to God or you hear his voice more often or you feel you love him or know him more.. doesn't mean that every aspect of your life is now right with him.. there may be areas where you have not let him into yet..

i would not go ahead and conclude that those areas are areas of sin.. sin is a strong word and we often rationalise our actions so it won't be sin in our heads anyway.. but it is an area of avoidance, where you don't like to think about it.. could it be, possibly, cos you know it's an area you need to work on?

since you are doing "spiritually better" don't you feel the need to bring that area into the hands of God? run away no more.. may our lives be purely and wholly surrendered to him..


and to those who are dwelling in sin.. please allow me to say, this is not the end..

our identity supercedes our activity


we are victors in Christ.. we are holy and righteous.. we are, we are..

it's only a matter of tuning your actions to align with your identity.
not doing spiritually well? pick up your baggage and your sluggish feet, toss them to God and move on..

to my beloved kids, i do not know how many of you would read this.. i do not know how many of you would understand this.. but i do know that you know this.. start each day with a clean slate..


looking back only reduces the time to look forward.. things may be bad, you may feel your life isn't at all the way it should be.. but there's still time.. let not discouragement falter you, may your eyes look upon the One who died for you.. so you may be a holy nation, the temple of the living God..


please please please, align your actions with your identity.. in every aspect of your life..

Chris Tomlin says live like there's no tomorrow?
I say, love like there's no need for an echo..