phew, it's been really long since i last blogged.. just came back from mission trip and have alot to blog about.. but i lazy.. another day la, i will blog one.. but today, i just feel like venting..


i came back with a happy heart only to hear from my dad that one of the canoeist who drowned was an njc teacher.. i got a shock and he showed me the orbituary.. when i saw mr loh's face straing back at me.. i was stunned.. i really was.. i didnt even know he canoes..


he passed away so long ago and i only found out like when i came back.. i felt.. guilty?? i dunno.. although i wasn't very close to him, he is still one of the nicest teacher i have ever met.. ever patient, ever caring..


i will miss him alot.. and somehow my brain doesnt want to register that fact.. i can feel myself rejecting that thought, that idea that mr loh is really gone.. i dunno.. i actually cried, i really did.. surprising huh..


i will miss smiling to him every morning as i see him precariously carrying a cup of coffee down nj's long flight of stairs.. i will miss secretly laughing at his hairless legs.. i will miss admiring his toned muscles that somehow glisten in the sun.. i will miss his smile.. i will miss everything about him..



i read bei's blog after like a million years.. and i saw she posted about mr loh too.. and about how she has become more of an athiest cos of this.. i would ask God sometimes too.. y He would let the people who love Him die just like that.. just because He wants mr loh to be back by His side, He takes away his life?..


how possible is that?.. our God isn't like that.. so i've been praying.. and i just feel that for everything that God does, He has a reason, and a purpose.. and we are to trust that everything He does is for the good of the people that He loves..


just take the korean hostages for example shall we.. when we knew the koreans were taken hostage and a few were actually shot dead, we were questioning God.. we asked Him y He allowed such things to happen to the people who wanted to do His work..


in the end there is a revival happening in the whole middle east region!! people were curious and they started to learn more about christianity.. in the end so many thousands of the middle easterns turn to Christ after the whole korean incident..


im so sure those koreans who gave their lives up for God would be willing to do it all over again if they knew what God's plan was.. if they knew that thousands of souls would be saved because they gave their lives up for God, im sure they would offer no resistence.. cos i sure wouldn't..



so though i dunno what God's plan is in taking mr loh away.. i stand tall and strongt and proclaim that my God knows what He is doing.. and i am sure in some way He is working through this ordeal.. who knows, it might trigger something in the hearts of all njcians.. and nj might become a christian school.. whahah



the Lord gives and He takes away. blessed be the name of the Lord on High!!
indeed out Lord gives alot to us.. so who are we to complain when He takes away.. just believe that everything He does is for our good.. because He loves us too much to hurt us.. (: