Nini's World

2010-06-27T20:19:00.001+08:00

Flying off in a few hours, mad excited whooo!!

Darius was like, you just lost weight you wanna go back to being how you were?!! D: but taiwan food is epic!!! roarr.. Since my willpower is of an insignificant amount, I'll prolly come back fat hahaha ohwells..

This post is not pointless rambling though.. it's an expression of LURVE!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!!!!!
(don't that look sexy yayness)

hahah ok i know it's early but i'll be in taiwan on your birthday so i gotta wish you now!!

just imagine my sister's me la.. (i know it takes immense concentration but yea...) i can't believe we don't have a picture together!!!

p.s darius: oogle away hehheh

it was great spending time with ya during camp though we did nothing but eat.. ahhahaha I'LL COME BACK FAT OMG LISA!! ):

i think i need counselling cos when that indian girl giving her ~~testimony~~ praise report said she was anorexic, i secretely thought, "at least you're skinny now.. maybe i should try being anorexic.. wait no, that's too hard... bulimic?"

haha.

ANYWAYS, you know how much you mean to me la!! and though i won't be around on your actual bday, i'll always be here forever and ever till we grow old and die hahaha.. so no pressure finding a partner cos.....

you've got a friend in meeee *toy story wheee!*

Here's wishing you an awesome birthday and may you grow more beautiful each year.. The good Lord loves you and so do I! And his eyes have never left you, hold on to what is good for we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. :)

Uhh ok this is really rushed cos I haven't finished packing and it's like 8.30? hahaha meet up when I come back yea??

~LOVE YOU LONG TIME~

2010-06-25T21:08:00.000+08:00

ALL HAIL THE VUVUZELA!!

yummy yummy brazil!!

BAD NEWS: I'll miss the ENTIRE QUARTERS AND SEMIS COS I'LL BE IN TAIWAN AND THEN FOC!!

w.h.a.t t.h.e h.e.l.l

I know -.-

SoOOoooOoo... I'm gonna let one lucky reader text me play by plays of each match throughout the two weeks!!! Any takers? :D

sigh

Moving on.... *sulking internally*

~flashback~
me: Omg you're hilarious.. I wonder what it's like to live in your brain, I think I'll die laughing

max: Haha, I don't know if anything is capable of living in there.. It's anarchy!!

me: It's so paradoxical that you said your brain's anarchy when the brain is the governor of our being..

Now that I think of it, the brain can be in a total state of lawlessness and disorder.. It's pretty funny how I love the way my brain feels all mooshy now.. All I think of now circle around food, clothes and soccer..

Ah wells, bimbos make the world go round.. I'm living proof that the tongue has power.. Pile on the insults babehs.. You'll see 'em materialise in human form right here *winkwink*

I'm feeling crabby!!!! NO QUARTERS OR SEMIS OMG!!! ^%#$%&@^!&*#

2010-06-18T01:25:00.000+08:00

so sad.

i hope you see a point in this, cos i sure don't. and by point i mean construction. cos if the point is destruction then it is beyond pointless, it is cataclysmic is it not? i do not contend with the grappling of faith. i have issues however, with the grappling of motives. now tell me, what's yours?

2010-06-02T01:10:00.006+08:00

I have a B average woohoo for me.. Momma will be so proud!!

Haha, ohwells.. The only thing that pisses me off about my grades is that I put in the least effort for the arts mods and did the best for em.. I seriously cracked open the damn textbook for the first time a week before the paper! I wanna transferrrrrr!!... Ok no I'm blabbering

The thought of facing Year 2 in science is intimidating though to say the least.
Daunting.
As I start to drown in my 'B-'s and 'C+'s, regret is starting to peek out of its shadow again..
To have squandered away precious time doing something that will amount to nothing is one thing. To be forced to do so is another.
The worst part is knowing that indulging in what I love is just a transfer fee away.
Oh and I graduate a year later, ahh big deal..
(ok yea it's a big deal)

Bright side: English minor
I've always been fascinated by the English language. So much emotion packed into 26 little alphabets. No tone markers necessary, for tone is brought forth by the author..
By the end of next sem, I'll be able to tell if I was made to grasp the beauty of this language or if my love is not to be reciprocated. I'm ready to spend hours bent over a desk, giving birth to literary masterpieces! Thrilling!~

Remember when I said a mind-imploding post might come soon? I changed my mind. I forgot I told myself this place is for useless rants as displayed above.

mehh. That's the sound a sheep makes.

2010-05-17T22:09:00.000+08:00

Call me crazy but I kinda miss math.

Kinda.

Ok not really.

I just miss the satisfaction of being able to complete a complicated math question.

Ahh I miss being able to excel at something haha.. Results day is drawing near and though I constantly make a conscious effort to push it to the back of my mind it keeps tryna resurface, like a clingly ex-boyfriend.. Not that I'll know what that's like, I hear stories though hmm.. h.a.u.n.t.i.n.g

Can I marry that guy?

Frickin' hilarious.

It has to be a guy cos of those marks so carelessly scrawled across the page some might deem as handwriting.

Anywho, I MIGHT come up with some mind-imploding post soon, or not.

My mood changes.

For now y'all can feed off this.

Tally ho!!

2010-05-12T23:11:00.001+08:00

y'know it doesn't take much to become a youtube star.. all you need is time, a camera and some sense of humour.. i've got two thirds of that list.. the only problem is you can't steal sense of humour like you do with a camera.. *coughcough*

i BOUGHT my camera.....

.............awkward silence..............

so anyway having the luxury of time's been grrrreat! finally booked my air tickets! oh and i struck gold, found two never-before-read tess gerritssen books in the CCK library whoo! this is an embarrassingly pointless post, im just waiting for my youtube video to load see.. and natalie cracks me up so i decided to share her with the world (:

ciao for now ~

2010-05-11T02:05:00.002+08:00

I was about to start on a review of iron man, then I stopped myself.. I reckon no one wants to hear me go on and on about how suped up it was that it turned out bland.. I did enjoy RDJ's performance though, perfectly executed as always.. I lapped up his sarcastic humour like a dog, and loved every minute of it.. oh and the cars! Audi is beautiful.. Scarlett Johansson deserves special mention for being so damn hot.. Megan who??

Alright, onto more important things.. I know I havent blogged in ages so here's a long post to make up for it..

It's time for..
Sarah's Top 10 Favourite People (in the last year) Awards!!!

haha, Im thinking of making it an annual thing..
MINIONS VIE FOR MY FAVOUR!!

rofl.. im kidding, this is just my way of thanking these wonderful people who have made a difference in my life, who've hastened my maturation process, who've liberated me from the claws of just living.. it's like, I am so happy nowadays I actually wake up with a smile on my face.. and it's all thanks to you wonderful people..

so in no particular order...

#1: LISASA

It's not like you've done a lot for me in recent times miss im-so-busy-with-work pfft.. hahahaha but you'll always be in the list cos, you have made me who I am.. I never really got the whole, "We love cos He first loved us" thing till I met you.. I love cos you first showed me how to love, you showed me what love can do.. And boy can it do a lot.. so people like abi should be thanking you for the love I shower on them daily (heehee) cos it all started with you.. so thank you... for everything

#2: CHARLENE

Wow I survived a whole year of school cos of you.. If not for your constant nagging (haha) and patience I'd long have flunked out of uni.. plus you're probably the only person in this world who understands my bimbotic cravings and let me rant on and on about a random hot guy I saw on the bus without judging me.. (he honestly looked angelic when he was sleeping, like seriously) As much as you look up to me spiritually (hahah yes im shameless like that) you have to know that I have grown in God cos of you too.. Your questions get me thinking and I'm so grateful I can easily integrate God into school cos of your existence.. :)

#3: HULDAH

o.m.g whurrt?!!! My sister made the list?! In all honesty, I'm glad she came to YI despite the ~~many flaws~~ circumstances cos I really only got to know her when she did.. Her kindness and gentleness, so superior to any other person I've met.. Her love for God so simple and pure, yet not without knowledge.. An inspiration to me though I'd never admit to that haha.. I thank God my parents tried for a son after me and got her instead heh

#4: TZEWEI

I'm not perfect, no way near it in fact.. But being around you liberates my imperfections cos I know whatever comes out of my mouth does not get frowned upon or judged.. I sit with my legs open cos I don't care to be a lady. And you let me.. You don't demand I change anything about myself and accept every flaw I bring to the table.. You are a gem, a true gem and I'm so glad your social dot is expanding to an actual circle.. I take some credit for it, I taught you life skills ok hahah.. Friends come and go, but best friends are there till the end.. I promise to visit you in the old folk's home when your kids abandon you!! hahahahhah :D

#5: ABIGAIL

I have a slight feeling I'll bawl my eyes out the day you fly away.. You are special and irreplaceable and I am so glad I had the priveledge of sharing a lane in the marathon of life with you.. You're a tough cookie trapped in a lil girl's body,with a robust will and strength.. And yet sometimes, your vulnerability shows and I am honoured to be someone you trust enough to reveal that side to.. Always always know that I am here for you my dear!

#6: DARIUS

If lisa taught me love, you taught me patience and persistence.. Your shell took years of chiselling, and yet is still a work in progress.. And I know what lies beneath is a priceless treasure, so I will dig on! As I take a step back and marvel on, I see growth and maturation beyond your years.. To say I am proud of you is an understatement and I know how hard it can be to supress everything within that beating organ.. I've tried.. Let me half your burden will ya?! haha, anywho, love you to mini bits!!

#7: 3MAO

soccer buddy!! haha, no one else talks about soccer with me cos im a girl *rolls eyes* anyway, it's strange how we evolved from pip the maomao,crap online for hours kind of friendship, to this.. It's hard for me to trust people and with you it comes so naturally.. I am so glad you joined Z3 and became who you are today (haha) cos I can talk about serious stuff with you and not feel awkward rofl.. You're so adorable I secretely wanna pinch your cheeks everytime you smile hahah

#8: BRYAN

Despite only being my CGL for one sem, I have learnt much and will continue learning much cos he is an inspiration.. I have NEVER in my entire life, met someone who says, "All glory to God!" believably, until I met bryan that it.. There is an element of self-pride in all of us, but bryan's heart is so pure I feel like Jesus would've come and pat him on the back.. I can totally imagine Bryan's shocked face and vigourous denial if he reads this.. but within a span of less than a sem, my hunger for the revelation of the word has deepened so much cos of him.. my perspective of christianity and student ministry has been changed single handedly.. thanks bryan, though you'll never read this haha

#9: WENSLEY

hahahhaha spasticated.. school becomes bearable cos of you, otherwise I'd go insane and would have to check into the mental hospital for sure.. can you act more like the rich guy that you are? like buy me stuff and drive me around.. yea, stuff like that.. HAHA my prayers are with you as you go to India! I just wanna thank you for helping me keep my sanity and for taking care of me cos i'm a lil girl -.- I still rmb you saved me from getting run down by a bus cos I didnt look while crossing the road hahah

#10: YEEHONG

even yeehong made the list?! pfft this is whacked!!! haha no it isn't!! yeehong deserves this, listen listen.. though i'm still very new to the cell, yh has been crucial in helping me integrate and feel accepted.. and I feel like I'm discovering a different person.. The love he has to offer is astounding and I know not everyone would have the ability to get up the way he did after a fall like his.. Since this list is for the people who've made a difference in my life, he needs to be here cos he certainly made a difference in mine.. The reason I love saturdays again when it was just dreaded week after dreaded week.. he won't know how much he did, but I stood up largely cos of him.. odd and out of place in this list, but essential...

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

#1: ADA

tsk tsk, what a bimbotic pose like seriously.. and the fact that you weren't aware of the camera PROVES that this bimbotic pose is totally natural.. hahah, you know I'm really glad we got to spend more time together.. If being a christian was easy, paul wouldn't have described it as a fight or a race.. I always tell myself this and I think I make perfect sense.. The struggles we face is God's way of telling us He trusts us enough to handle the situation.. For otherwise He wouldn't have allowed it in the first place.. So I hereby applaud you for being worthy of testing! Congrats babe *hughug* hehhheh

#2: VARMA

you make me laugh hahahha.. hurray to free hugs from the teddy bear! no more running away when you see me haha.. I am so unspeakably glad we can talk casually and interact in a stress-free environment lol.. you were one tough nut to crack and hopefully the doors have been swung wide open to welcome new heights to our friendship uh? :D love you loads la!!

If you didn't make the list, it doesn't mean you mean any less to me!! You know who you are, people I love and care deeply for!! It's just, the above mentioned are people who inspired my growth and new found happiness.. Who were intricate cogs in the machine that propelled me to who I am today.. Some I'm not even close to, but they have steered my rudder and led me unto a straight path.. So this is just a post of gratitude.. Thank you all.. I promise another post soon, take care! And good night :)

2010-04-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

Alrighty, let's resurrect this piece o' crap!!

*ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

the above sound is supposed to be angelic.. not demonic

ahh wells, hey YOU! ima gonna rant about something near and dear to my heart...

babies...

i.want.one. *sad face*<- ":( " undermines how i feel..

i was carrying my parent's friends's totally newborn baby just recently (can't believe she let my clumsy ass touch her precious lil angel) and i was so aww-ish i couldn't stand myself.. i literally (and i do mean literally,not "seriously") wanted to nibble on her lil fingers and cheeks..

to satisfy my premature maternal instincts (i'm 19 for crying out loud) i shall post pictures of babies here now.. *viewership drops to a negative* heh oh wells.. hopefully this will spur lisa on to be more proactive in her hunt *winkwink*

contrary to popular belief, i think asian babies are way cuter than caucasian babies.. there's something about the small slit eyes and huge-ass bulbous noses that work on a baby.. of cos those things WILL come back to haunt ~~them~~ us when we go through puberty.. just ask jackie chan, im sure he took on martial arts to beat up those people who teased him about his fist-sized nose..

and now....
ASIAN BABIES!!!

un.believably adorable (pause was for dramatic effect)

aww grumpy baby.. momma'll feed you soon!!

aren't you a happy lil thing!!!

in case you were wondering, yes, i typed "asian babies" into google images.. haha..

now that it has been established i have lost some screws.. it's time to show you the handsome-est man EVAR (i don't see the link but lemme satisfy my bimbotic cravings)..

okok, that's not true.. abi probably has something to say about this guy being un-handsome.. BUT I THINK HE IS!!

lee dewyze from american idol!!! *faints* his first name is some asian dude's surname!! coolness :D

cute smile hehheh.. now there are two reasons why i think he is so darn attractive, besides the very apparant lovely face..

(1) he is kinda chunky in the chubby way.. since i am so sensitive about my weight (cos i'm F.A.T boo) i honestly think bigger guys are more attractive.. sense of secuity and all.. how can a stick thin bicep-less guy protect me from a terrorist attack or something?!! if i faint in fright, he'd have to leave me on the ground to die cos he can't lift my heavy tush :( but abi, you can have your musician-build skinny white boy.. hahha, im sure he can lift you..

(2) he is a musician. says it all..

now the amount of musical talent a guy has impacts his sexuality to a proportionate level.. meaning, it has a direct relationship.. plays one instrument, up 20%.. plays two instruments, up 30% and so on.. now this is subdivided into categories such as type of instrument (and NO the triangle doesn't count) guitar garners like a 5% increase? guitarists are everywhere really.. pianist (whoo) say like 15%.. singers def take up all 20%, a good voice is a gift, most other things are skills that can be acquired..

there is another subdivision- level of skill.. like duh.. only know G C Em D and A? sorry dude, that's a 1%.. hahhaa.. ok, you get the idea...

lee plays the guitar relatively well and he can sing *melts*

lookie!!

mamma mia!! (ok seriously don't judge me..... )

to end off this totally random AND pointless post (charlene told me to blog simple hahah) i shall leave you with a precious gift.. lee's gorgeous face.. i prefer clean shaven guys but there's something about his ruggedness that is yummy-licious wheee!! (charlene don't let wensley see this k? i'll never hear the end of it..)

dunch pretend you aint enjoying this!!.... :D

2010-04-01T12:10:00.000+08:00

The heart is but a tapestry of emotions
Intricately interwoven and balanced.
A network one can get lost in,
An infinite intersection.

And when one chokes himself on a thread
He points in the other direction.
Staking his claim on a cloud
One pushes forth with his accusations.

Responsibility is left unattended to
It hovers over an abyss.
Brave souls vie for what cost their lives
Yet the one to whom it belongs hides in a crease
The crease he christened his mind.

Irony.

2010-03-29T22:01:00.000+08:00

The human heart with it's astounding twists and turns.
Unpredictable.
Why is love like a fugitive?
It runs, runs away.

I'm developing this bad habit where I dont write down my thoughts anymore. And so they get lost in the commotion in my mind and I feel so unaccomplished at the end of the day. Few conclusions are drawn about trivial and not-so-trivial matters.

It's for the best I tell myself. Cos like I've told abs, people who are different often get trapped in a pool of disagreeing minds.

They tell me my conclusions are shallow, but how can it be when it has more dimensions than theirs? When it has been tackled by angles unthought of?

Does it bother you when I say the aforementioned "they" are merely the self-doubting, self-deprecative voices in my head?

Anyway.....

It's not predestination or free will, it's predestination and free will.

I'd much rather it be predestination.
For then I won't have to be answerable for my decisions.

2010-03-21T01:30:00.000+08:00

pretty.darn.funny.

and if you ask me, better than the new version of "we are the world" HAHAHHAHA

Ahh but no one gets it!! no one who reads my blog know what PCR is haha.. ada maybe? yoohoooo.. :D

the inner geek (ok fine maybe it wasn't inner at all) is surfacing!! what with the adenine and uracil love bond fb status and the polymerase chain reaction song?.. i better get a high CAP this sem -.- im totally immersing myself in my work!!

and now for anatomy sighhh...

Good news: I didn't freak out seeing a dead man's penis and testicles (should this be censored? bahh it's plastered all over my notes so it's just a scientific term so wadever)

Bad news: I gotta memorise stuff about it

summer break summer break summer break... the only thing that keeps me alive lol

ciao for now ):

2010-03-14T02:17:00.001+08:00

The inquisitive mind is on a quest
Unfolding the layers of mystery
Insinuate an alluding innuendo
Vigilant citizens, hearken thee

Yet perhaps sometimes it's all in the mind
A wordplay, a symbol, a coincidence
What is perceptivity but a mere illusion
When things are seen in absence

To unveil the depth of a matter
How brilliant we would be
But when there your heart is also
Digging for treasure is too easy

And to the mysteries of the mystic
Interest barely bothers to scratch its skin
God's word at face value is aplenty
Just a ticket to heaven with my Heart of a Queen

How deep, how wide, how long
The heart will never know
For the heart does not seek to know
To uncover the mysteries hidden in the pages, now that is something.
Yet often we think that the word of God is confined to something the alphabets can convey.
And the scales that fall from the eyes of Saul are the scales that shroud yours.
If we would all recognise that every word is God-breathed, how much more would you respect it?

Extricate to delve deep.
That shall be my mission!
If authors of best-selling books can do it, why not me?
Why can't the mysteries of God be opened to me?
So yes, I will strive to have my eyes polished and shined to crystal clarity!
:)

2010-03-09T22:13:00.002+08:00

my turn!

ahh... Alice in Wonderland. I had my doubts going into the theater. Afterall, Tim Burton has a maniacally long track record of taking books and spitting on them.

Well as we all know, I'm not very organised. This is more of a rant than a review really. But here goes..

Before moving on to the possible interpretations (conjured up by my inferior mind, so they are mere theories), we have to take apart the pieces that make up the puzzle. And may I add, puzzling it was...

Visual&Sound
Well, without a doubt the visuals were amazing, not-so-subtle touches of Burton's fingerprints everywhere. Whimsical but with restrain, not over the board. The soundtrack would not deserve a two thumbs up from me but it complemented the backdrop and themes well. Overall a visual treat. That is if you weren't paying attention to anything else.

Acting
The girl who played Alice, I didn't even bother looking her name up, fell flat. Completely short of all the other characters who were more captivating in their own ways. She almost faded into the over-dramtised backdrop. Strong-willed came over as pushy and I found her not in the least bit pretty.

Depp was a disappointment as well by the way. Annoying to a certain point, possibly due to the self-indulgence he engaged in. Capturing the essence of the Mad Hatter? Maybe.. But I think after the success of Capt Jack Sparrow, Depp tends to play up the whimsical factor ~~a tad~~ way too much. *insert memory of Willy Wonka* BUT that being said, there is no one else on the face of the earth who can do what he does. Still a fan, always will be.

Red Queen certainly did not fail in the attention grabbing portion of her job. However I would grant the make-up, costume and CGI effects that honor. Her acting which encompasses a lot of yelling, I could've done.

Anne Hathaway is gorgeous. (I just felt the need to say this hahahha)

Alright alright let's get to the part that matters.

Interpretations
Without taking into account the possible innuendos that were hidden in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, at the very basic face value, the book is about a girl who discovers herself and matures with every step through Wonderland, with every charater met. How is it then that Burton made Alice a "chosen one" with a destiny of slaying the Jabbawocky? Alice was made to have a predestination without much space to discover herself. The disgracefully weak attempt at infiltrating the book's message was made by the blue caterpiller and his "hardly Alice" speech. But really, fail.

However, since Burton made it clear this is not an adaptation, he could have hidden his own. After mulling, Burton could have insinuated that the Mad Hatter became insane due to post-war trauma of some sort. Visible when he lost his former life-of-the-party ways after the White Queen lost her crown. Implications to the impending world war looming above our heads maybe?

Also, the final war took place on a chessboard. A twist in the "All the world's a stage" quote? Entertainers, chess pieces, we are one and the same. Participating in something against our will from succumbing to the pressures of onlookers or because free will is somehow lost. It doesn't matter. A far stretch perhaps but this is my guess, with my past experiences blended into the mix. (:

Review
While some may dismiss this as a gag-worthy waste of money, I won't write it off just yet. Afterall, it did give me something to think about. Albeit not in relations to the movie plot or interpretation, something did strike me. When Alice's douche of a suitor told her to stay silent if she didn't know what was appropriate, I did smirk to myself. Silence seems like such a hard thing to keep.

Overall though, I would give it a 2/5? Points deducted for the possibility Burton is a train that has gone off the tracks and all forms of interpretation would be an over-rate of his mind. Also, I read in an interview done before the world premier that had him say while making the movie, he discovered he was insane. Reeling himself into relations with the repetitive notion that lunatics are the best kind of people perhaps? Self praise is no praise Mr Burton.

Dear John anybody? :)

2010-03-04T15:03:00.001+08:00

I must be an idiot for not password protecting my private blog.. and when I went to my profile page, I saw that it garnered like 80 hits.. like WHURT?! I'm crossing my fingers hard that all the hits came from the pre-private-blog days.. gahh, I thought no one bothered, like really no one.. bahh I piss myself off haha ):

anyway, in case you didn't know.. yes, this blog is whored out.. for rants and such.. deal with it..

btw, shout out to ada.. * pats back* there are reasons to smile everyday, we just gotta look for it.. :D <- this is cos i saw your comment.. heehee

whims and fancy time~
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Fantasy, make-believe, fiction.
Fairy tales if you may.
Do you believe in magic?

Detractors of happily ever after are cynics, they are afraid of saying out loud that the glass is half-full.
Afraid, yes you heard me right.
Fear grips their tiny little hearts as the thought of letting go creeps into their minds.
Letting go of what you ask?
(yes, i'm gonna be typing this way from now on cos apparently sneaky people read my blog without leaving footprints!! so i'll assume my blog's kinda wildly popular without my knowledge and henceforth ima gonna be addressing an audience haha.. private blogs ftw)
Control.
Mmhmm, my future, my fate, my way.

Sometimes the end being a mystery determines the way we live.
To take the reins or to go with the flow.
Going with the flow allows a touch of miracle.
I choose the miracle.

A connection that is made between two people can go either way.
Call me a hopeless romantic, but sometimes a spark is all you need.
Love is then built on that spark to make it a roaring fire to snuggle around and make smores with.
Afterall, love is an action now isn't it.
Emotions are over-rated. It cannot be trusted. We are a fickle generation.
But emotions can give rise to revolutions.
And a wise man once told me revolutions are the ones that stick.
Yay romanticism with a dash of practicality.
Cheers to over-convoluted brains!
Now who's left to clink glasses with me?
( i am proud and narcissistic like that haha )

One-sided extremes irk me ALL the time.
Be broad-based people!
Shallow minds take a three dimensional object and confine it to a single face.

p/s: I recognise the mess in structure, i'm usually more organised in writing.. this is random afterall, so forgive me..

2010-03-01T01:27:00.003+08:00

Someone once told me the grass was much greener on the other side.
Well I paid a visit,
Was it possible I missed it?
Seemed different yet exactly the same.

Till further notice,
I'm in between.
But from where I'm standing,
My grass is green

And if I were to stop trying to peep through the hole in the fence, I would take a look at the grass I am standing on. Then perhaps I would find myself on a field of emeralds. Who knows? They both reflect the same spectrum of the rainbow anyway.

2010-03-01T00:54:00.002+08:00

The wounds are still fresh. Too fresh.
And they need time to heal.
And they will heal.
That is if we stop picking at the scabs.

I want to be completely objective when I say this.

Do I agree with the decision? Honestly no.
Am I happy where I am now? It's no Acts 1 I'll say..
But am I trying? Yes.

And I hope y'all will be able to say that.

Ultimately I am accountable to God and God alone.
I am responsible for my own spiritual life.
I want to be completely blameless before God.
And to be blameless, I do His commands.
When that encompasses "submitting to authority" I do it.
Because I fear and revere the Almighty.
Not cos I respect or agree with them.
But cos I want to OBEY God.

Cheesy yes but not irrational. Great throught has gone into this.

If I am responsible for my own life, and they are theirs, then when we all meet Him I want to be able to say I did my best.
I did try.
Whatever happens after my utmost effort ( and be honest about this now, it's not like God can't see your hearts ) is not my fault.

But if I didn't try, I allow a blame to be put on me.
What if I did try? Could the results have been different?
Questions that don't matter at the end of a failed day.
So why ask?

At the very end, God will vindicate us if they were indeed at fault.
But for now when ambiguity sets in like a thick choking fog, no one knows who's right or wrong.
Right now, what the right thing to do for us is to go in with open hearts.
For the possibility that the decision made is right still remains.
And till the day that possibility dissipates or otherwise, we will go into this with positivty and a heart of obedience.
To God.
Not to Man.

Obey Him.
And remember, to not try is to fail.
To try buys a chance of success.

2010-02-28T02:55:00.000+08:00

" You don't have to feel close to me. You are. "

Where did the good times go?
Why, they never left..

I love you guys so much I would gladly be put to death if it means that you be happy and healthy.
Will you do me a favor?
Be that.
It'll help me sleep at night.

P/S: though I promised no emo posts, this is for their eyes and I want them to see it.

Have you seen it?...

♥

2010-02-22T21:45:00.000+08:00

With regards to the comment on the previous post, I have come to discover that there is no such thing as privacy on the internet.

Privacy is what you make it. And my heart is not opened.

The torture of sifting through everything I really want to say.
The agony of watching the misintepretation of the posts.
The brutality of watching eyes waiting to twist my irrational empty words into something to use against me when the world makes sense again.

I am emotional.
Allow me to be.
So I hereby declare this space to be for the occasional spiritual insights and/or mindless rants.

Like how I burnt myself in the science lab today.

For the second time in my life I reached my hand over the open flame of a bunsen burner. The first time was not my fault, cow was passing me something and to get to it I had to reach past his bench, hence his flame. He put it in non-luminous and so I didnt realise his flame was on.. I thus reached out....... and the rest is history. I ran with hand over cold water and it was fine..

Well today, the flame was mine. Oh how I marvel at my stupidity.

I set the flame to non-luminous, forgot the flame was on, then reached over the flame to get an agar plate. Since I was wearing latex lab gloves, the gloves caught fire. (haha yea laugh if you must..) in shock, I blew at the flame to extinguish it, but I was also blowing at the glove and it came into contact with my bear skin. The latex glove got seared unto my wrist.

My wrist looks like it got branded now. Too bad the scar is not in the shape of a lighting bolt or something. Pity.. It just looks like I tried to kill myself and slashed my wrist is a very careless manner.. Messy line ):

In case you're wondering, yea it hurt. Occasional surges of pain still run up my arm. My pain tolerance went up 10 notches fer sure.. cos I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I shoved my hand into a naked flame so I had to grit my teeth and pretend nothing happened. When my classmates were all, " Something's buring can you smell it?!" I just pretended to be too busy to pay attention to their mindless chatter.. haha..

I deserve a pat on the back for not making a huge fuss over it. Plus I reckon the scar'll look pretty cool! It's been a good day..

How's that for mindless rant? :D

The doors have officially been closed.

Good night world!

2010-02-20T00:55:00.001+08:00

Tired. Tired of it all.

How can I be sure it is worth it, when I cannot see the end.
Don't tell me I need not worry.
When all I can think of is how I've done wrong.
You who say we are not perfect expect me to be.
Mirror mirror be silent.
I cannot bear to look at you..

Sustenance is such an elusive thing. Fleeting, I might add.
Fingers cannot wrap around it, how then do I feed off it?
May depression be momentary. I've got no time to lose.

Time. We're all out of time.

2010-02-18T00:31:00.001+08:00

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

If love was an investment, be prepared to bankrupt. For who is to say your love must be reciprocated? But that is the essence of the most over and under-used four letter word in the English dictionary - That you do not love for spoils, you do not love to be loved. You love because He first loved.

Love always perserves. Don't love if you are not in it for the long haul. Don't love if along with it tag conditions.

Your conditions mean nothing in the eyes of He who matters.

Love the despicable, the destitutes. Love the immature, the annoying. Love the one who doesn't catch your eye. Love is a gift. A key that unlocks the chains of your hardened hearts. The hurts inflicted upon you can and will heal if only you let them. Holding on cause scars, ugly scars that will haunt, that will lurk in the shadows and devour you.

Love covers a multitude of sins. Yes, sins.
They sin against you, but did you not sin against them?
But love, oh love, it cleanses from within.

2010-02-18T00:30:00.001+08:00

oh.my.goodness glee is the best show ever created.

watch.

I may not be a great singer, I go sharp all the time, I am not pitch perfect, I can barely harmonise and my acrobats are shameful.. But I love singing, and I know what I'm talking about when it comes to singers.

Show me an amatuer guitarist who shreds and I'll take him for a pro, cos I know nothing about that. If a person who sings in tune is a good singer to you, you probably know as much as I do about the guitar. I sing, so I care about the voice, the tone, the pitch.

And Lea Michele is amazing.
Now this, I could listen to all day long. And the band is really impressive. You have no idea how hard it is to pitch that high of a note on a trumpet. Your lips could cramp. I think I love glee so much cos it combines my two greatest love in the field of music - singing and band music. The perfect combination really.

On a side note, did you know MTV scraped the whole trying to pass off as a music channel shit? their logo, which was previously this

has now become this

haha, yup, it's no more music television. It's just trashy reality program television. Which I am totally fine with. Paris Hilton's my new BFF S2 is here! HAHAHAH

Music, like art, is up for interpretation. And the eyes that see are the ears that hear.

2010-02-09T14:40:00.000+08:00

The wait with bated breath has come and gone, and I will not have delivered.
My apologies, abstract has it's time and place. And mood.
Today, concrete walls I shall build, astral territorials will have to wait.

yeap, i do realise i haven't been blogging.. you see, depression triggers artistic ability and linguistic endowment, so pardon me for being happy.. or at least, being too busy to be depressed.. hmm

so anyway i just felt like ranting.

do i expect you to sit back and hear me rant?
well yes, yes I do... hahha

ok so i recently discovered that my sister's boyfriend of uh.. a few months, is a fruit-seller's son.

imagine my shock.

no no before you point your finger and furrow your brows at me, let me explain.

See, my sister is... an elite. or so she considers herself to be.
Pretty, funny, kinda smart, musically talented.. the ~~usual~~ not so usual.
With a rap sheet of ex-es with at least a million dollars in equity, poor does not cut it.
oh, it doesn't stop there..
she concocted a list for her young and innocent baby sisters.

The MUST HAVEs and MUST NOT HAVEs of a potential partner:
(disclaimer: she came up with this, i promise you, she did..)

#1: MUST be rich. Private estate preferred, condominiums are barely acceptable unless placed in town area.
#2: MUST be from a respectable Junior College. Anything below SAJC is NOT respectable.
#3: MUST be handsome. Cute also acceptable.
#4: MUST be talented in either music or sports. All other talents are secondary.
#5: MUST drive.
#6: MUST NOT have stupid humour. Wit and brains are mandatory.
#7: MUST NOT stop at poly education. University shapes a person.

and the all-important..
#8: MUST NOT be chinese speaking. Chinese is for losers.

I must say that list is pretty thorough.

so anyway, the thing is.. her latest boyfriend? does.not.cut.it.

he is poor, not exactly the best looking guy, a poly grad, so lame that it's sad and...

C.H.I.N.E.S.E S.P.E.A.K.I.N.G... yesh, the dreaded #8...

my point of this horrifically offensive material?

when asked, why him?.. she could only say one thing.. that what it comes down to at the end of the day were three plain and simple things.
#1: That he was passionate about worship.
#2: That he loved her.
#3: That he loved God.

The list dwindled to a very attainable three. and that, in her very own words, "is all that matters."

Matthew 6:21
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I am proud of her, for discovering few things matter in life. And I am glad for her, that she found those few things.. wedding bells? perhaps hehh

If "X" marks the spot, I wanna cling on to that cross forever..
(a lame-ass attempt at word play hahah)

2010-01-28T16:56:00.000+08:00

One becomes a true artist when one has..

Skill.
Technicality.
Creativity.
Content.

A message.

A message that is unheard of.
A message that transcends the five senses and touches the heart.
A message that has the potential to revolutionise.

But if the audience doesn't get the message, are you still an artist?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, did it fall?

I do not have a problem with this concept.
What I do have a problem with is this.
The above assumes that the artist is misunderstood and is hence deemed unaccepted.
What if though, the artist is accepted.
But on grounds other than for his message?

Take Lady Gaga for example.
Hordes of people listen to and love her.
Yet how many consider her a dark and demonic cult?
Blind followers who tag along with the trend just cos she's different and debatably weird.

If the message she sets to convey is lost in the fame, is she then, an artist?

This is random ramble. I was bored...

2010-01-25T12:22:00.001+08:00

I wanna say I'm suffering from writer's block but I can't.
cos I never regarded myself as one.
A writer that is..

Just cos I hang with the greats doesn't mean I qualify as one..
By greats I do mean esther, lisa, weihao....
haha (yay my top three fave local writers mmhmm, who's catherine lim pfft.. heh)

So I decided to change my blogskin..
To distract you from the lack of impeccable posts the aforementioned dish out all the time..

hoohoo!
tata for now. i've got loads to do

2010-01-23T04:18:00.001+08:00

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players."
- William Shakespeare

Actors. Every single last one of us.
Nothing more.
The performer's soul was revived for one thing.

Approval.

The unceasing pursuit of acceptance.
To be who you are or who you want to be..
Ahh.. a herculean-size decision.
What's worse is there is no wrong answer.

The allure of recognition.
How it captivates the audience and actors alike.
And the applause that resound when the curtains fall.
Simply gratifying.

Yet when do the curtains really fall?
When the world's a stage and your life, a mere character?
The answer to that would be never.
For the hunt for extolment will never satisfy.
Like chasing the wind.

But yet to detach oneself from this stage would be suicide.
Social suicide.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Romans 12: 2

In the world but not of it.
On the stage but not partaking in it.

If one were to strive for perfection,
there would only be one mould.
And He ain't so happy with your progress, as with mine.. as with mine..
Hypocrisy of praise, for praise....
decided to post this draft from a few days back instead since you ruined the selective information thing!! ):

2010-01-17T18:14:00.000+08:00

make your deaths into cadavers.
not to mourn and weep upon.
scrutinise instead the things not seen.

one day i shall clink glasses with you over the betterment achieved.

2010-01-14T22:43:00.002+08:00

before i start.. HEY ADA!! thanks for dropping by hoho what happened to our lunch/dinner plans?! grab lisasa and let's goooooo!..

ok now i'm starting.. on a totally bimbotic post, yea yea yea unleashing my true self.. pfft whatever *flicks hair back and twirls it*

school has started and i.hate.it.. ok, not like it's unknown.. getting tired so quickly feels totally new to me cos i have been having more than ample sleep and now that i don't anymore i feel so cranky gahh

the only good thing about school is that there's a new batch of exchange students.. nope, not talking about the PRCs or ah-nehs.. but the HAWT ANGMOHS!! ~~ can't get enough of em hoho

yup, i am aware of how shallow i sound right now.. it sparked off the inspiration (if you can even call it that) for this post..

THE TOP 7 REASONS WHY SARAH IS REALLY A SHALLOW BIMBO

#7: i live off chick flicks.. yea, only the bottom feeders who are disgustingly hooked on the hollow storylines hollywood paints would admit to this.. and i raise both my hands as i shout to the heavens that i love em..

#6: i lovee trashy romantic novels as much as a good ol' jeffery archer book... *ducks for cover at the outrage* yeayea why can't i love both of em? all this talk about conformists.. i ain't one.. i don't fit into the typical mould.. it's like who says i can't love frilly pink dresses as much as i love rock and roll? pfft

#5: i have a squeaky high voice. don't all bimbos have squeaky high voices?? i hate mine.. it's like i heard my voice over the recording and i wondered aloud why i sound like a mouse.. i think john heard me :\

#4: i love all things musical. yes, even HSM.. hahahha can't help but laugh at myself.. i think musicals are wonderful things, i loved hairspray although some may say it was boring blahblah.. i cannot agree because the song and dance numbers can only be described in three words.. A-MAZE-ING.

#3: i am a band geek. i'd much rather listen to lyric-less band pieces because who says melodies can't tell a story? i don't expect you to understand or appreciate it.. but do listen to the track below!.. it tells the story of noah's ark from beginnning to end..

not the best rendition but only one i could find.. listen to how it started off, from the rising of the sun signifying a new day.. then the entering of animals begin.. hear the footsteps of an elephant, the wings of a bird, the leaping of frogs.. the grandeur of the whole scene!

the closing of the door.. and then the storm.. the rise and fall of the waves crashing against the ark! feel it? the rhythm of the raindrops? thunder?

then the rain slows to a drizzle.. the flood subsides.. hope arises in noah's heart.. the triump he feels as his spirit is uplifted.. the promise of God displayed in a rainbow.. do you see it? oh no i sound so loser-ish.. ok next point

#2: i care alot about my weight BUT i do nothing about it.. like i don't run or swim or do any exercise for that matter.. i dont diet either.. does that make me a lazy bimbo?!

THE #1 REASON WHY I'M A SHALLOW BIMBO?
i have actually succeeded in playing elevator music in my mind while i stone.. O.M.G i really snapped out of a stoned position after 5 whole minutes or so thinking of nothing! i rmb like some faint music playing at the back of my mind.. yesh!!! here's to happiness and simplicity from now on whoohoo!!~

ok this is the end of a totally pointless post.. BYE!!
or like the bimbos say it.. ciaos darhlings~

2010-01-11T02:51:00.012+08:00

I've figured it out. The secret of success that is.

People ask me how do I love God more? How do i grow closer to Him? mundane questions, and the list goes on.

Here's a thought : how about making Him all you think of? consume your thoughts like I said.

It's so easy to let things roll off your tongue that way. Stringing words together than sound spiritual and make sense, BAM, you get a good message.

But I have witnessed it. The manifestation of something that sounds so easy to start on and yet is so absurdly impossible to accomplish.

How can one walk away from a debatably "heated discussion" on the hypocrisy of worship and not be burdened by the political situation, but be pondering upon if she has committed it herself.

Distractions. Holy distractions.
I wish to rid myself of them.
As much as I enjoy sitting in a circle discussing controversy,
I can attest to how simple life can be if one would filter everything else out and concentrate on the only thing that matters. The thing we claim we come for. The One we claim we come for.

I wonder to myself, perhaps I slightly enjoy the mishaps and disasters. It allows me to feel better about myself as I sit back and point a finger, with occasional wagging.

Perhaps i enjoy the *gasp* judging I bestow.

At the end of the day, why does it matter?

Discussions end. Actions are then not meted out.
The stirring of emotions which mayhap caused the stroking of one's ego?

Question: If I am a God-loving, God-fearing individual, will God place upon me responsibilities few are deemed worthy of?

I would think that is a yes.

Could it be could it be, that if I reach a level of intimacy like that of Jesus (we are called to be little Christs anyway) God would reveal to me a plan. Possibly a revolutionary plan. A plan that could turn everything around resulting in an Acts church.

Impossible? Why nothing is, isn't it?

That be said, would I be helping the situation if I simply work on my own walk with God? To care less about the politics, the hunt for flaws that are yet to be unearthed.. To conduct less speeches that reek of grievences.

What if all it took was for me to draw closer to God myself?

I really just want to be rid of all cynicsm.
Flow? maybe..

food for thought. this is one heavy meal, I must say..

( and i wonder why nobody reads my blog haha.. PLEASE IGNORE IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!! do not attempt to understand really.. it's probably not worth it..)

2010-01-08T00:59:00.001+08:00

.
“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.”
— George Carlin

perhaps.
who would be to blame then, for the cynic's misanthropy?

i want to do something about it, but i'm too busy judging.
at least i'm honest.
if i could choose, i would be the most trusting person who is incapable of any thought.
i would shout amen when you want me to.
nod in agreement, smile in anticipation.
the whole nine yards.

maybe if they showed me some capability as reassurance.
or if the approval is evident.
right now, pardon me for the raised eyebrows.
i am just an idealist who's been disappointed too many times.

2010-01-04T16:28:00.000+08:00

" to teach someone to swim, sometimes you gotta throw him into the sea"

and what if he drowns?

bullcrap.

a bunch of words strung together don't make you a philosopher.

admitedly, no one's truly ready. how do you define ready anyway? but yet some people would be more equiped than others will ever be.

which end of the spectrum i'm on is not up to me.

my sanity is fragile.
and i think it just broke.

2010-01-01T21:54:00.001+08:00

the stench of death fills the air

hold on to the corpse

look on as I breathe life into it.

or can I?

2009-12-29T22:19:00.003+08:00

.
.
not of fear but of rationality

2009-12-28T14:07:00.000+08:00

damn the evolution of the human mind.
the narcism embodied within,
magnified egos of epic proportions.
intellect does not cancel out stupidity my friends.
rational thinking ain't what it used to be
tipping the scale of the balance of life
fall, fall away.
fall away from the truth.
and what is truth?
but a figment of your imagination
oh great minds, i am not worthy.

just ignore the above if you don't know what i am talking about. *ramble*

ve'been spamming FOB songs, sad-ish..
patrick stump is amazing..
now that is what i call talent.
the bright voice, the lyrical masterpieces..

i don't care what you think as long as it's about me
the best of us can find happiness in misery

2009-12-23T22:26:00.001+08:00

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart

and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:14

wait upon Him for His guidance and His word.

do not be impulsive.

do not be emotional.

know what God has put in your heart.

know it and remember it.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40: 30-31

you tire and wish to give up sometimes.

i get it.

but may your strength be renewed.

and surely, surely the Lord will remain faithful.

don't fly, soar.

soar on wings like eagles.

let the wind take you somewhere.

i pray.

2009-12-23T18:10:00.000+08:00

ima gonna break my hiatus for one very special person...

i guess the chanting worked hoho, Eywa hears.... *spooky music plays*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABS!!!
(ok so my colour combination sucks.. like wadever..)

wowee, what a journey this lil girl has taken me on..

i am so glad to have been able to share the high and the lows with you.. so honoured to have been part of your life.. i wanna say you don't know how much you mean to me but i think you do *pokepoke* hehheh

i have witnessed the blossoming of one fine flower and i am proud to have been there to water it.. i foresee the world being blown away by one tiny dynamite :D

speaking of flowers, let's side track a lil..

during retreat i wanted to play bang! with dru and he was like ok i can go over to the girl's room and i was all eew no? you don't smelly smelly like that come in!! then john was like eh what smelly smelly! and i said girls always smell like flowers and rainbows ok! and john said... yea flower... rafflesia!

i guffawed like an unglam retard lol..

ok back to you abs..

so anyway, you have grown so much and though not all may see that, i have, and God has.. and you are so ready now it would be an absolute waste of time to wait any longer.. one word from God is better than a thousand words from Man..

i would be down there beaming at you like a proud parent! :D

thanks for all the joy and laughter you have brought to not only me but to everyone around you (darius you better tag my tagboard and agree lol)

i pray that your hunger for God will be insatiable and your fire will never burn out.. May God bless your hands, your voice and may God continue to touch the hearts of man through you.. God bless, guide and lead every step of your life... love you loadssss!!

this is for the world to know you (since we both know millions read my blog :D )

w.o.w

such grace!!

now this is what glamourous looks like..

2009-12-12T00:33:00.000+08:00

happy belated darius, i missed the mark by a couple of minutes oh wells..

i just wanna say something really really random.

if all else fails like career and marriage yadayada wise, i wanna open a book shop. librarians don't actually have time to curl up in a corner and read the books that surround them cos they are too busy picking up after brats who don't bother putting books back into their right places.

but a book shop owner! oh how great that would be!! when business is slow i can just grab and book and indulge.. mmm

i would totally be those kind of overly friendly proprietor and be all, "lemme recommend this book to you!! it took my breath away.." haha

what inspired this totally random thought?

i stepped into a book rental store recently and i couldn't stop the smile that crept upon my face.. oh how lovely those books smell!! i lovee the musty smell of old books, i could relish in them all day..

so many books, so little time.. i stumbled upon a tess gerritsen shelf and was like so tempted to rent a book! the jeffery archer column was staggering, one of the greats, that man.. at that moment in time i was upset that i wouldn't be able to bring any book home cos i had zero cash..

now if i was the shop owner..... w.o.w

ok, thus concludes my totally idiotic rant. sometimes i'm glad i'm a nerd. like if i wasn't, i wouldn't be able to comprehend the joys of reading. i'd be all, pfft books.

ignorant boobs..

p/s: if i got married, i'd still wanna be the owner of a book shop!! but i'll upgrade my dream.. my gorgeous (beauty is in the eye of the beholder kinda gorgeous) hubby and I would move to england and open a quaint little antique book store that is sorta the downstairs to our apartment. that sounds perfect really..

p/p/s: this is the start of a hiatus.was i supposed to respond?..

2009-12-11T01:05:00.001+08:00

the one who has the power in a relationship is the one who cares less.

how ironically true.

for the one who cares more would be vulnerable, desperate some may say.

but power is not happiness.

and happiness belongs to the one who cares more, gives more.

why i needed a chick flick to teach me that, i'd never know.
someone teach me what to say...

2009-12-08T01:06:00.000+08:00

i see him walking in the lonely alley
digs his hands deep into his pockets
he staggers, take a swig
pulls out a cigar and lights it

i see her crying in the corner
shielding her face from the world
her insecurities birthing forth
pulls a razor to her wrist and slits it

i see them running in the field
laughing with heads thrown back
they have not yet seen the ugly
pull out a crayon to draw with

i see him with a plastered smile
with girls draped all over
he lives the high life, an aristocrat
pulls out money and throws it

i see her slouching on a bench
glasses hanging from the nose
her hair disheveled and unkempt
pulls out a book and reads it

i see them with spirit and pride
screaming in rythm and in sync
they are desired, they are envied
pull out pom-poms to cheer

and they do not differ.
because they are all lost.
in the darkness they grope but they do not find.
shine light, shine.

do not be hidden says the Lord.

2009-12-05T21:38:00.006+08:00

wow.
:) right back at you!.. i can explain what i really meant if you want me to..
wow.

wow.

the Hebrew word used for "Lord" in the pure context of the one true God is Yahweh.

this word is so sacred that the Hebrew scribes wouldn't write it all out. they took the vowels out and wrote YHWH.

it is referred to as the sacred tetragrammation, the unspeakable four letters.

it was the unmentionable name, the holy name guarded from profanity in the life of Israel.

He who must not be named.

because of his awesome power and glory.

do you realise that the Lord you serve is one so powerful and mighty that you cannot even stand being in his pure presence?

do you reduce the glory of YHWH?..

just because He is merciful and loving and desires to have a relationship with you doesn't dismiss His absolute beauty and majesty.

do not forget that you are undeserving.

but yet He chose to give.

the one so glorious that he could not be mentioned.

He chose you.

i now know what it means to be unable to do anything but worship him...

2009-11-29T00:20:00.000+08:00

do you know what the worst feeling in the world is?..
being misunderstood..

there is nothing more frustrating and hurting than to be misunderstood..
for your intentions and words to be writhed into something you don't even recognise..
it cuts..

don't you get that i never meant to hurt you?

to be thought of as a conniving and spiteful person is just a degradation of my spirit..

would i ever scheme against you? speak badly of you on a public pedestal such as a blog? never.. ever..

i jump to your defence everytime someone speaks badly of you, because i thought i understood a glimpse of what goes on in that encephalon of yours that i truly respect..

if time could be manipulated, i would make sure i never allowed what happened to go down again..

i'm just... lost

flying away sounds awesome right now.. escapism, my haven

goodbye.i should have known when to shut the hell up.

2009-11-25T15:23:00.000+08:00

it is done.

mmmm, freedom tastes so sweet. but the bitter after-taste of a bad paper still lingers.. why must chemistry even be invented?! pfft

anyway i am so STOKED for tmr! loveee that my small group consists of a bunch of brats who refuse to be exposed to the sun (and abi who can't cycle ?!!) so we're gonna buffet in an enclosed air-conditioned place instead!! yipee for food and air con lovers! hahahah

kirby may be going lissy!! drop by as soon as you can yea? :D

God has truly been amazing.. i take a step back and look at the progress of the small group and i am blown away.. we have become so close and i do believe growth is starting!

*does happy dance* mmm happy dance ~

haha i sound like i'm stoked in the high-on-drugs way instead of the ecstatic way

i just saw my mom dancing in the living room while blasting "One Way" no kidding.

my head is aching and this was a waste of time.. sorry bout that, i just felt the need to post something to inform the world my exams are finally over.. :D

here's a nice picture to redeem this loser of a blog post

yeap, i am a sucker for cute.

anyway, it was nice to feel the sun hit my cheeks today..

*gasp*

sarah's not wishing for rain?!

mmhmm, a lil sun never hurt anybody

*does sun dance*

wow i really am drunk.

2009-11-22T14:31:00.002+08:00

this post is dedicated to a very special someone.. enjoy my dear!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

me: my momma told me i was sleep talking last night.. omg! i'm too stressed, sigh ):

him: if you're worrying about your studies, know that at the end you'll make it, you have what it takes! the hectic period is almost over, so you can focus on your studies.. OR if you're worrying that no guys will want you, then change your mindset as you are date-able.. If you worry that you are fat, know that you don't look fat, i'm just kidding with my insults. you must know the definition of a fat person and realise you are not catagorised under it. If you worry about cell this week, i don't mind planning it all with abi, i'll take sharing as well. if it's the mission group, then don't worry. i'm a socialising machine and can make people feel comfortable in the group. so nothing already right? nothing to worry about! hoho

aww. i have to say i almost teared. almost.

that's all it takes, a simple heartfelt one-of-a-kind message..

it made my ~~night~~ year..

and yea, he's right!.. there's nothing else to worry about lol.. i place my trust in him.. and God la heh

yup, this is for the absolutely lovely DARIUS, my pride and joy!!

let me post his charming face here :D

yes yes, despite his countless flaws (haha) like his irresponsibility, or his taste in music (yue liang dai biao wo de xin?!).. he is a gem, a pure gem.. i treasure him with all my heart..

he is very sensitive to your feelings and honestly, more guys should totally be like that lol! (yes dear, i'm totally promoting you to the ladies.. hehheh)

i think his wife will be the luckiest woman alive, i truly think so! maturity is certainly not portrayed in your ability to express yourself, cos this boy might not be the most expressive or eloquent (i'm not insulting you really LOL) but he is mature beyond his years, because his reactions to his situations and cirumstances are just... admirable..

to my seed who has grown into a majestic sycamore.. you are so loved and appreciated..

you know, this is truly the only reason why i'm still serving.. because through the tears and the sweat, the hurt and disappointments, i know i am shovelling into the lives of these seeds.. seeds just waiting to burst forth into beautiful trees that bear much fruit..

i love you all. so much, words can't express.

p/s: DISCLAIMER. i am not looking for a guy ok!! kindly ignore the whole date-able part lol! seriously.

i slept well :D

2009-11-20T14:52:00.002+08:00

don't burst my bubble.. let me live in it for awhile

the kaleidoscope outside is grey

wait. wait upon him.

the love of the Lord endures forever.

breathe

2009-11-19T16:15:00.005+08:00

Yup, the previous skin was a wreck, i know i know.. i was just anxious to find a new skin that had a white background.. white is good :)would you kindly highlight the whole of the previous post so you can see IT WAS NOT FOR YOU
tsk, what a way to celebrate my ability to breathe normally again.. thank God it's raining :D

shout out to you.. (you know who you are *wink*) people are there to keep you grounded!

it started off as a draft and it shall stay a draft.. practicing what i'm preaching haha..

anyway enjoy the simple white-washed skin estee! the percentage should be rather low hmm?dwell not.

2009-11-18T21:45:00.005+08:00

The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21

oh how we have let our tongues loose
to curse and swear at the slightest things

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness..

from the simple boast of a favored soccer team, the tongue can twist it into the utter insult and put down of another.. necessary? feelings are hurt, anger riled..

we are made to have different tastes and preferences anyway.. if everyone liked the same thing, supported the same team, listened to the same music, there'd be no invention and creativity in the first place.. no competition, no excitment.. so why attempt to make everyone like what you like?

and in the process, you defile your lips.. brilliant move
this is not a personal attack
wit and humour can morph into sarcasm, which bites.. watch your tongue

if emotions are stirred, what was the point of your 5 seconds of laughter?

different people have different degrees of tolerance and sensitivity.. be wise with your choice of words..

because your tongue has power.. it can bring life, or it can suck the very life you fight to preserve right down to the last drop..

2009-11-15T17:43:00.000+08:00

rglbj tiy die agiqubf nw ainw dien id jubsbwaa klar bufgr.. u looewxulrw ur kilsa.. arukk nuaaubf tiy, bir l bwws vyr l qlbr.. *gyfa*

yeap, my brains are mush.. i think i shall go lay down for awhile cheerios!!

2009-11-11T16:06:00.000+08:00

ThePeoplePleaser

stop trying.

you'll find out it's not worth it.

may all false pretenses fall from your heavy ladened face.

take it off, take it off.

the masks are blinding you.

when you're free falling into a ditch, don't say i didn't warn you.

stop trying.

2009-11-08T17:29:00.000+08:00

Flowers blooming on the walls
Beckons the unsuspecting
The rush of the first steps

Intricates understood and loved
Barriers cracked and burned
Not looking back, forget the paths taken

A dead end
Walls cave in
Flowers withering
Concrete showing
Lost.

Walking turns to running
Whispers to screams
Panic sets in
Ceased roads

Clawing at the corners
Till blood drips from the nails
Blindfolds fell
Ear piece held in warm embrace

Futile attempts to escape
Await the last breath
Liberation.

i was just wondering how you define good poetry..

like i was watching friends and monica dated this guy, who in the middle of their date stopped to write a poem.. about an empty vase

so monica thought he was refering to her being empty yadayada cos she was dense about poetry..

i'm sure they teach you in lit school how to interpret a poem right?.. darn, what am i doing in science.. who cares about chemical reactions anyway?!!

i wonder if i'm dense about poetry.. questioning myself though, aren't literary works a mere expression of the author's inner turmoil? who then should be allowed to judge if it's a good work of art or not?..

i wanna study art.. but i can't.. cos i have to go learn about magnets and light now..

but then again what is science and art but mere categories made up by man.. the great philosophers like aristotle and plato were geniuses in both areas.. oh boy, this makes me wanna read.. and yet, a strange sense of inadequacy overwhelms for i know i comprehend little in the vast sea of knowledge..

There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.
-Aristotle-

hmm...

*then hunger distracts me* i wanna go scout for food now...

this is why i'm fat and dumb -.- hahahhahah

(:

2009-11-08T00:02:00.000+08:00

hey abs, this is for you...

and this is for me.. :D

has my readership sky rocketed yet?!!!

hahh.. actually, i love the fact that my blog's unknown and nobody gives two hoots about it.. helps me umm be freely expressive!

i see harsh times ahead..

but maybe it'll keep my mind off things

w.a.k.e. u.p.

yes.. time to face the cold reality sarah.. time to grow up ( i realise i keep saying this.. have.....to......mean.....it.....)

huo huo huo huo huo huo huo huo!!
thinking maybe singing the crouching tiger hidden dragon song would help lol..

ma ma ma ma
( shout out to ahwei :D )

for me? it's mug mug mug mug *sobs*

2009-11-04T13:27:00.000+08:00

at the very end, you always think of the beginning..

but it'll be too late

Woman was created from the rib of man.
She was not made from a part of his head to top him,

nor was she made from his feet to be trampled on.
She was created out of his side to equal him,
under his arm to be protected by him
and near his heart to be loved.

i just thought couples cuddling on a bench would bring a smile to your face so i plastered them onto this post.. randomness..

and now i don't know what to say.. i had loads on my mind, but now they all seem so inappropriate haha..

i just wish sometimes i wasn't a complex individual.. i wanna be simple, have simple thought paths and hence conclusions..

to not dissect things and people the moment i face them would be such a blessing.. sometimes i feel like John Nash.. if only my brain had an off-switch.. to quote zoey, " you have constant brain activity" lol

ok moving on... i am so weird..

now the Japanese are normal like us...

LOL funny.. the whole idea of normalcy is whacked.. who's to say what's normal and what's not? to some, being normal is picking their noses and eating it.. i know some of you cringed at that.. proves my point.. you are only the standard for normal in your own eyes.. so what makes you any less abnormal than the next guy?..

.....mulling....

brings me to my next point on the majority effect.. so what if the majority of the people think a certain way? does that guarantee they're right? rhetorical qns, don't bother answering.. try telling me this though, why then, do they act as if they are?

let's move on since i know no one can give me a satisfactory answer..

i think to be able to take a dig at yourself is really what we need to do sometimes.. don't take yourself too seriously, uptight and anal people should be kept in jail..

actually if you think about it, insecure and egoistical people are one and the same.. they spend the same amount of time thinking about themselves.. the only difference is that one finds himself not good enough and the other finds himself too good for the rest of the world..

these two classes of people should probably spend some time realising we all have our flaws and our strengths.. so just get over yourself and perhaps think about things that truly matter..

why do i sound so angry?? haha i'm not.. i'm in an extremely calm state right now..

i have two essays to rush out by this week and i haven't even started on any.. yup, i AM blogging, this is not an illusion lol..

my grades aren't near satisfactory!! snap out of it sarah!! *proceeds to slap self*

ok i should probably get started sighhhhhhhhh

ciao for now.

p/s: i do realise this has been a mess to read.. it was just random blabbering, i do that alot..

p/p/s: in case you were wondering.. yes, i did intend to just post the whole woman and man part cos it was so sweet.. but i thought it would lead to unneccessary attention so i blabbed the rest of this mess out..

enjoy! ♥

2009-11-01T01:30:00.000+08:00

I have a motive.

with every action done, word spoken, there is an intention behind it. a whole spectrum of motives behind why you do what you do.

to encourage?
to help?
to gain attention.
to show off.
to hurt.
to inflict pain.
to shame.
to get revenge.

we often forget to check our hearts in going through with something because we subconciously think satan can't outsmart us.

fools.

just because you do something that appears holy doesn't mean you are.

let's apply this concept to a very simple situation... our studies.

we all study, we all strive to do well ( ok, most of us strive to do well )
question: why do you study? why are you studying so hard? what's in an A?

the human mind easily formulates the most spiritual thing to explain this phenomenon.

I'm doing this for God's glory...

really? that is to say if you get straight As God gets ALL the glory? that is to say, if you don't do well after studying your butt off, God ís not glorified?

BULL.

open your eyes oh mascots of self-gratification.. you want to do well because you like being able to say you did well, the pride of satisfaction.. to show off? maybe...
may i please say i find nothing wrong with that per se.. but i do know that lying to yourself about your true motive is gravely dangerous..

the heart of the matter is exactly that, your heart..

spirituality is not in what you do, for there is nothing you can do to make you holy.. but i ask you, what's in your heart?

so you fight for your views to be heard..
because you want the "truth"to be known, or to prove the other's folly.. fine line, but a line nonetheless..

how about this?

so you desperately ask God to open the eyes of the people who wronged you..
because you love them and want them to see the truth and be set free from the lies in their hearts? or so you can think to yourself, "i knew i was right and they were wrong.."

perhaps sometimes it is you who are blind.

let everything you do be for the glory of God.
nay, i reject that sentence.
let your motive behind everything you do be with the intention of glorifying God..

check your heart always, because it is so easy to hide behind the facade of "righteous living". recognise the hypocrisy of human thinking and actions.

and i pray that one day WE may truly be living for the glory of God.

love conquers.
it conquers hate.
it conquers hurt.
it conquers the lies.
it conquers blindedness.
love, because He first loved us.
love, because it breaks you out of your strongholds.
love the very people who kicked you while you were down.
because they need your love.
they don't deserve your love or patience.
but neither do you of God's.

2009-10-28T13:03:00.000+08:00

i can't wait for this week to be over!!

: D

happy days haha

i wonder why MOE stopped giving me money.. did they somehow find out i used the money to buy clothes instead of books?!! haha, money rain down on me!! ( oops : x )

i've learnt.

life is what you make it.

everything is a choice.

so choose wisely.

regret ain't pretty.

and when you choose right, peace follows. joy kinda tags along too. heh (:

i wish you guys all the best!

all of you are in my prayers.

psst darius, i'm really glad emath went well for you *hugs* haha

i can see this unravelling
your love is where i'm falling
but please don't catch me..

urgh demi on the brains, can someone say WHARRT?... yea, i am ashamed. haha

you know how they say estrogen makes you have a sense of well being? it totally does. those scientists weren't lying haha.. the rain helps too yay!

i wanna post something christian-y soon.. whassat? you don't like it? SUCK EGGS!!

* restore to state of well-being*

i mean.. it comforts me so just ignore it, it's really for ME.. boomz <- so overused it ain't funny anymore people! get over her

haha that concludes this random post. i know i know, i wasted 5 minutes of your life.. i was bored of studying man!! ): sobs, roll your eyes at me, see if i care!!

you know my mom says, "roll your eye on me" ? HAHAHHAHA. on.

2009-10-25T18:01:00.000+08:00

oh wowee (500) days of summer was so not what i expected!

i was thinking it'll be of good comedic relief ( and it was, kinda..) plus, c'mon chick flicks are SO the best kind of movies in the world!

but it turned out to be a non-typical kind of chick flick, i think it doesn't even belong in that genre.. it's not candy-coated and wrapped in sugar, there's no in-your-face romance and happy endings.. it was kinda artsy (lovee) and it brings you down to reality..

Next time, look again...

selective memory
sucks.

so anyway, i thought the lead was kinda pretty in a very different way, she looks a lil like katy perry haha.. pretty, i like pretty girls (:

i would think this movie's an acquired taste, but i kinda loved it..

breaks the notion of everything i once held so close to my heart.
love. so easy to forget its true meaning when it's so overused.
don't tell someone you love them unless you really mean it.
because sometimes, yes sometimes, they believe you.

a well deserved break! i think every sunday should be movie day haha.. just go out, catch a flick and not do anything depressing, like studying for physio.. ): wahh I.HATE.STUDYING. wish me luck! cos i think i'm gonna need it.. CAP 5.0? HAHAHHA i feel like laughing in my own face lol

2009-10-24T23:53:00.000+08:00

An abyss of a vacuum,

our excuse for a heart.

Nothing remains, nothing grows.

A manifestation of emptiness.

Then hurt comes.

Then hurt stays.

Sealed the deal with a kiss,

the heart implodes.

Wounds paint a pretty picture,

the spectrum of a monochrome.

A smile written across my face,

because death is hidden.

A cold diamond in the rough,

worthless till refined.

Pick up the pieces,

upon it cry tears of regret.

Then move on, move on.

I am so tired. Too tired.

I read somewhere that the best way to curb moments like this is to set a timer for 20 minutes.

Cry your heart out.

Then move on.

I'm stuck in what I thought was a mere hole.

But it's a grave I've dug.

I see myself lying in it.

Rest in ~~peace~~ turmoil.

I pulled the trigger.

And the barrel was on my soul.

Time to move on.

Have i found what i was looking for?

Closure.

Maybe.

Maybe I never will.

But I will die trying.

2009-10-19T20:26:00.000+08:00

Hold up Hold on
Don't be scared,
You'll never change what's been and gone

May your smile, (may your smile)
Shine on, (shine on)
Don't be scared, (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm,

Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them someday,
Take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

Get up, (get up)
Come on, (come on)
Why you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change what's been and gone

'Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them some day,
Take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

'Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them someday.
Just take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

We're all of the stars,
We're fading away.
Just try not to worry,
You'll see us someday.
Just take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out...

Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis

God showed me a vision of a cobra.. one with its head raised, all ready to strike.. it was hissing, swaying its head, meanacing eyes..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

then, it spat venom right at me

its rather abstract this picture.. lemme try to explain in the best way possible..
sometimes we underestimate the devil and we kinda expect him to attack us in a certain way.. we think he's predicatable and all.. but sometimes he strikes in a way we'd never have foreseen.. like spitting venom into your eyes instead of striking..

and our job is simple.. our job is to guard ourselves against EVERY attack, wield your mighty swords!

i should've seen it coming, i should've read the signs.. (whoo westlife haha)

i will guard my heart.

i met someone today
his name is atus
he's my best friend
say hi to him will ya?

until i find what'i'm looking for..
i foresee a barren wasteland
cheerios!!

2009-10-15T19:14:00.000+08:00

Desert Song

VERSE 1:

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

VERSE 2:
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

CHORUS:
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

VERSE 3:
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

BRIDGE:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

VERSE 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger

2009-10-11T10:52:00.000+08:00

warning: the following post is long and possibly hard to digest. ignore if you
(a) are not a chirstian
(b) hate reading
(c) don't really care about what goes through my mind

DO read if you
(i) are a thinker
(ii) have questions about certain facets of christianity(?)
(iii) do care about what goes through my mind

the complexity of life is often overlooked, for the wishing of simplicity clouds our judgement.
but in the simplest of terms, our lives are like onions.
layers upon layers of raw flesh.
sweet aroma to some, tear bearers to others.

to look at life one dimensionally would be shallow.
common fallacies flood the way we think.
i know this, in my head, i really do.
but to un-think 19 years of a one-track mind is not easy.

when my parents' relationship hit rock bottom i asked myself why would a great man and woman of God treat the relationship God has given them so lightly? they were still awesome ministers, touching the lives of others. they heard from God, they saw visions for the church. they were possibly at the height of their "spiritual life"
disclaimer: the whole parents thing is no longer a big issue.. this is a recollection

if you ask me, admist their angered voices that reside in my head, if they were doing spiritually well.. i would have to say yes..

because i know that they love God with all their hearts, i know that they are still close to Him.. i see my parents pray for hours, read the word of God, seek him fervently.. hence i conclude, they are spiritually healthy.

the next question would be, then why on earth are they treating each other with distasteful disrespect?

SNN asked me once.. if a leader gets into a relationship before the time is right, henceforth giving up his ministry and his capacity to serve God all because of a girl, is he spiritually unstable?

with that somehow a lightbulb came on. i replied with confidence.

No, it doesn't mean since he is in a relationship therefore he is not doing spiritually well. he may be the closest to God he has ever been in all his life, but he is numb to a particular area.

similarly, my parents may be close to God at that time.. the simplistic straightforward train of thought would be, then why doesn't God speak to them about their relationship or about tolerance and love for each other?

perhaps He did! but they were numb.. we humans are selective hearers, we listen to what we wanna hear, and dismiss whatever we don't.. if we do that to each other, what makes you think we don't do it to God?

so i say to you, just because you feel closer to God or you hear his voice more often or you feel you love him or know him more.. doesn't mean that every aspect of your life is now right with him.. there may be areas where you have not let him into yet..

i would not go ahead and conclude that those areas are areas of sin.. sin is a strong word and we often rationalise our actions so it won't be sin in our heads anyway.. but it is an area of avoidance, where you don't like to think about it.. could it be, possibly, cos you know it's an area you need to work on?

since you are doing "spiritually better" don't you feel the need to bring that area into the hands of God? run away no more.. may our lives be purely and wholly surrendered to him..

and to those who are dwelling in sin.. please allow me to say, this is not the end..

our identity supercedes our activity

we are victors in Christ.. we are holy and righteous.. we are, we are..

it's only a matter of tuning your actions to align with your identity.
not doing spiritually well? pick up your baggage and your sluggish feet, toss them to God and move on..

to my beloved kids, i do not know how many of you would read this.. i do not know how many of you would understand this.. but i do know that you know this.. start each day with a clean slate..

looking back only reduces the time to look forward.. things may be bad, you may feel your life isn't at all the way it should be.. but there's still time.. let not discouragement falter you, may your eyes look upon the One who died for you.. so you may be a holy nation, the temple of the living God..

please please please, align your actions with your identity.. in every aspect of your life..

Chris Tomlin says live like there's no tomorrow?
I say, love like there's no need for an echo..

2009-10-09T22:03:00.001+08:00

the worst kind of nightmares are the recurring kind..

so i've been having this really freaky dream all week.
don't laugh as you read this.
no, you can't chuckle either.

so on monday i went to bed thinking about something totally unrelated to what was coming for me

*shudder*

i.dreamt.i.was.obese.

wahhhhhh it was so surreal! ok i admit the first time i dreamt it i sorta laughed to myself. like.. harharhar now i know what i look like disgustingly fat..

then when it started coming back again and again, night after night.. nobody's laughing no more!!

it's like everytime i close my eyes now i see this grossly massive whale of a woman.. and she has my face!! ahhh!!

I TOLD YOU NOT TO LAUGH!!

recently she ( i refuse to say i ) has been growing! like she's slowly taking up my entire peripheral vision.. it's like, i'm sorta looking into this gigantic mirror and the reflection i see is now so big i have to turn my head to see one side of "me"..

sigh... the omnious feeling is creeping up on me.. am i seeing the future?!!! haahahhahha

hmm on the bright side, at least i could still stand and wasn't like bed-bound or anything.. ):

well wells, on a lighter note..

check this out!! hahahha a twilight spoof that'll garner a good read i'll bet (:

the story follows a young high school student named Belle Goose who moves to Switchblade, Oregon, and meets Edwart Mullen, a “super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls.”

Belle is all about vampires and convinces herself that Edwart is in fact a being of the undead. She comes to this conclusion after seeing him do things she considers "otherworldly"(”Edwart leaves his Tater Tots™ untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!”).

i loved twilight so by no means is this some lame stab at twilight's genius (heh yea i think twilight's genius) but it sounds funny! totally bringing the faraway notion of vampires into the real world..

unfortunately i don't know if it'll be available here or not.. hmm, we'll see..

what IS available is dan brown's new book, the lost symbol.. i haven't read digital fortress or deception point!.. i need a book provider................. i sighed

anyway, yeah.. the lost symbol!! yea i know dan brown's books are all swiss-cheesy (full of holes haha i made a joke) with half truths and whole lies, but it makes a good read and i simply adore reading! plus plus only creatures of real intelligence can come up with believable lies haha.. thick plots coupled with fascinating codes etc etc.. dan brown is admittedly good people!

oh oh switchfoot has a new album too? hello hurricane.. do you still care? haha hmm

anyway, i found out i got my clumsy genes from my dad.. a 57 year old man taking a tumble ain't funny.. his ankle's like a pufferfish ):

it has been a sloooowwww week.. sigh

2009-10-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

as i looked at the trickling rain on the window pane and traced the droplets with my fingers, i breathed in the musty smell of fresh rain.. i love it, the idea of being dry and comfy, protected really, when the whipping winds and peltering waters are just a glass pane away..

no, i don't enjoy being caught in the rain, makes my hair look like some cat threw up on my head.. but i love how i know i am safe from the elements though it is roaring outside.. that feeling of being sheltered, makes me feel all fuzzy inside.. that's why i adore rainy days.. it instantaneously makes me have a mental picture of an old couple cuddling on a bench, under the shelter of their porch.. they are probably drinking hot chocolate as they look out at the rain and laugh about the good old days.. yummylicious

do you know if you stare at the ripples the rain makes on the ground long enough, you can probably spot a pattern?.. i know, marvel at my time wasting skills haha.. anyway, i was just about to say au revoir et bonne chance..

till good days, cheerios

2009-09-30T16:03:00.000+08:00

tsk tsk, just when pastor's gonna do some break out series, i break out.

haha, rubbish. my face is peppered with little dots, just kill me. kill me now...

can't wait can't wait for friday to come!! lisaaaa could we go out for some ice cream too.. it's more of a need than a want haha

oh but wait, does sugar cause zits?? hmm, oh what the hey it's too late already i guess.. hormones have done their damage well ):

my fever on sunday disorientated me urgh.. wait disoriented? umm, you get the idea..

just posting to let people know i'm doing alrighty! yup yup

till better days, cheerios!!

2009-09-29T12:53:00.000+08:00

ok so i finally summoned enough courage to do what i thought was the right thing to do.

so maybe it wasn't but i tried.

still confused at the outcome, i never really know what you're thinking.

to try and salvage the situation might be futile, but hey i'm gonna give it one last shot.

here goes.

i thought it wasn't satisfactory cos it wasn't genius enough ( i'm getting that alot nowadays, i wonder what's missing in my life)

but i'm thinking i thought wrong? maybe you wanted something else, hence the comment.

but anyway, that's why i requested an example, to find out what you thought was satisfactory.

that went down the wrong road, strange how things work out.

where we are now is killing me, self reproach = self mutilation, so i'm not doing so well

last night, my parents fought over the remote. yes, screaming and railing cos of a remote. i think i forgot how to be happy.

2009-09-27T14:17:00.000+08:00

i was told by my emotions to transcend my static confining inhibitions, to step out of my doltish devotion to conformity.

i pride myself on being a thinker.

oh the moment of folly.

to be rid of emotions, that would be a dream.

but then again... i wouldn't know joy when i'm with you..

chemistry drives me insane.
i apologize for any cranky-pants behaviour in advance.

2009-09-24T14:45:00.000+08:00

Art is.......

Complex simplicity.
Dull vibrance.
Single myraids.
Uninspiring muse.
Bitter sweet.
An expression of love.
Hence, there is no definition.

2009-09-22T17:08:00.000+08:00

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

just started pondering over the whole getting attached scene.. this is all charlene's fault!! i am a focused, God-loving student and she had to plant thoughts in my head hahahha

while we did come to a conclusion that both parties have to be spiritually mature before it is wise to go into a relationship, we recognise the temptations that arouse us.. the key to countering that i believe, would be to fully buy into the above's lyrical genius..

that God leads.. and everyone else who comes your way haa a very high possibility of being part of that broken road..

this is TOTALLY random, i was just bored of doing my physics project.. i dream of getting an A for it you know, it's become a more tangible reality after i got my grades from my test back.. *grins like a fool*

i dream alot.. they get vivid.. too vivid.. i can see the lines of expression on your face, the glint in your eyes.. i can see the colours of our backdrop, i can hear the chirp in your voice.. haunting i know.. must be the increased intensity of my thoughts nowadays.. and there i was naively thinking that was physically impossible..

the human brain boggles my mind (this sentence boggles my mind...)

but seriously. i am truly amazed at how incredible our brain is.. the average human uses like what 5-10% of it? amazeballs!! in my mind i'm thinking, only a divine being can think up such a magnificent organ..

on to more randomness? i'm glad to oblige

i was thinking i totally wanna write a novel of some sorts!! but yea yea like all my other unfulfilled dreams this prolly doesnt stand a chance.. but i've read from the best! you never know.. i just might be some best selling author in the future.. heh..

my dream book? a thriller.. a spine-tingling, mind blowing thriller.. with a subtle message that would touch your heart, but only if you're intellligent to pick it up.. sounds perfect!!

perfectly impossible for my inadequate mind haha

anyway, i know this is like the millionth time i'm saying this but i am embarking on a lose-the-flab regime!! hmm we'll see if i can stick to it lol.. won't condemn myself by saying it won't? but, things aren't exactly optimistic haha.. all the best to me!

now i have to go look for pictures of rotting teeth.. whee

2009-09-12T00:03:00.000+08:00

coruscation dims to pure darkness.
without power, i cannot live.
i shall not live.

the qabalistic nature
our esoteric whispers
longed for, hoped for, wished upon a star for

the inexplicable inclination,
with its undeniable existence
it haunts me.

"if you love me, won't you let me know"
- violet hill, coldplay

exam week next week!
wish me all the best!!
we all know the effects of stress on me.
it ain't pretty y'all..
keep me in prayer,
i like to think i'm in your prayers :)

2009-09-07T20:04:00.000+08:00

Flakes of dust fall from the eyes
Awake my soul, from eternal slumber
Woe the will, like lines between clouds
My spirit shall surmount

Listen to the orchestra,
The tuning of heart strings
Compositions of tragedy
But cresendoes, subdued

in case you're a poetry idiot, that was an uplifting poem.. and i wrote it cos....

I FEEL LIKE I SURVIVED A STORM haha..

so on saturday's altar call i had a vision of a freshly sheared sheep.. it looked cold and confused.. but the mesage was that every sheep has to go through a season of shearing.. you may experience cold and nakedness, but if God doesn't shear you, you might die of overheating or something ( ok basically, shearing is good for you )

it was a simple reminder of a simple fact.. a fact that constantly gets overlooked.. that discomfort is only part of the way God takes care of you haha, oh he is so lovely (:

to make lisa happy, i shall tell yáll a very personal thing then..

so a couple of weeks ago at TPM ( the last time i went la..) i had a vision of a submarine which was painted on the outside to look like a fish.. and the message was loud and clear: "you people always claim to do the things of God, always thinking that you are doing things My way. but it is a facade! the things you do are masked and packaged to look like My hands are upon it, but it is all man made!"

woah harsh, when i recieved it i was like yea yea!! some people are always like that! say they are doing things for God's glory but in fact they are doing it for their own glory!

pfft ignorant boob.. yea, i completely did not see how the message was for me! my worry for cell, my displeasure, my discouragement.. all branched out from the very fact that i was using human strength all along.. i prayed for my eyes to be open.. and opened they are...

feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, i can finally breathe again.. and the air is wonderful

psst lisa, i think you'd be happy to know i still get the visions? hahaha i hope you're reading this though.. cos i know my blog is sorta in a coma now haha.. i refuse to prod it unless something epic happens.. i'm a busy girl, in a busy world........

2009-09-04T23:48:00.000+08:00

Open My Eyes

Saviour of my soul
I worship You as God alone
Greater love has made a way to You

I could not forget
The moment I in faith confessed
For my sin You died and rose again

I believe every word You say
Father God with all my heart I sing

Open my eyes
I want to see
Your glory
Your glory Lord

I open my heart
I want to be closer
closer to You

Here I am again
I find my strength in drawing near
You have heard the desperate cry in me

And as I wait on You my God
I'll know the voice of truth
In quietness I am in awe

And as I worship You my Lord
I understand the cross
The sacrifice of God

you know how sometimes you want something so much it hurts that you don't have it?

I.want.more.of.God

it might not have been the best of weeks.. heck, it might not have been the best of months, or years.. but still i say i choose you..

this week was particularly bad.. but it made me realise one thing.. it made me realise how important the friends in your life are.. they can be people who build you up, or tear you down.. they can be your pillar of support, or the rock tied to your feet..

thank you. you were there when i needed you.

ps: charlene. if we ever fall for the same guy, i'd totally let you have him HAHAHA.. just saying, that's how much you mean to me ok!!

pps: ok fine, seeing how you always tell me i wont find someone.. i think you wont even need me to give him up *sobs* BUT the point is that i choose sisters over misters k!!

oh i realised one more thing this week.. life sucks when you're not close to God.

shallow huh, i mean c'mon you're a leader sarah! surely you knew that!

i guess i kinda did, but i never realised how empty it can be, until i really went through darkness..

for how dark can darkness be? there will be a limit to how deep you can sink.. but from there, light comes.. the light of life.. so hold on, the light shall come

2009-08-28T13:33:00.000+08:00

The mirror can lie
Doesn't show you what's inside
And it, it can tell you you're full of life
It's amazing what you can hide
Just by putting on a smile

learn to seek out people who are hurting..
there are more of them around you than you think..

2009-08-26T18:04:00.000+08:00

"love isn't a feeling, it's an action"
- anonymous

we've heard that a million times before.

but the density of the human mind is hard to comprehend.

pride is afterall, the fall of man.

stop thinking you know it all and realise that you don't.

because you may have heard it before, but thinking that it equates to understanding it - pure foolishness. listen up now.

we say love is an action, not the warm, fuzzy feeling you get inside.

so why then do we ask ourselves why we don't feel God's love? why don't we feel close to him?

if love is an action, what more can you ask from him? he acted, in the most sacrificial and loving way possible, nothing less for you and I..

He died.

so if you find yourself wondering if you are doing "spiritually well" or not, chances are, you're not.

cos if you only realise the magnitude of God's love for you, you wouldn't be wasting time asking yourself that question.

you'd be finding ways to pour your love upon him.

now that, is doing spiritually well.

KNOW that He loves you. His eye has never left you. but your eyes wander. what are you looking for? all you need is right in front of you.

James 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to God.

2009-08-18T23:53:00.000+08:00

well, today officially marks the end of week1 at school... it has been surprisingly hard, a refreshing sense of busyness.. i don't hate it, but i sure don't like it..

i already found myself:

#1: poring through lecture notes at home instead of watching TV

#2: spending breaks in the library searching for reference books so i can get it before other people get their grimy paws all over it

#3: actually worrying about my CAP score (it's like GPA) already ( it's week 1!!)

channeling the inner nerd, ok fine maybe it's not that INNER, is hard work..

who said uni was all fun and games? they lied, or maybe they just got a lousy CAP of 2.5-3.0??

i NEED a CAP 5.0.. medicine needs to be in sight

pardon me for not taking into consideration activities that aren't beneficial or enlightening etc etc..

someone needs to be the grown up.. i have to be a big ~~girl~~ lady now..

being grown up sucks.. treasure your O levels my dears, you'll find yourself missing it in a few years.. i PROMISE you..

"tired" doesn't even begin to express how i feel.. i need endorphines, anyone got a chocolate fondue machine i could borrow? i've always wanted to know how it feels like to drink chocolate out of a fountain.. feel like i need to know..

*imagines self swimming in a pool of melted chocolate...*

sighhh

2009-08-10T01:14:00.000+08:00

BEST NATIONAL DAY EVER!!!!

haha i love friends who can drive!!

yes yes, makes me feel old that i actually have friends, peers of the same age who can actually drive.. but WHAT THE HEY!! they drive!!!

haha you can go wherever you wanna for supper and more *wriggles eyebrows* haha

if i have the money, i wanna buy wii!! i think that i'll lose weight fer sure.. i'd just indulge in hours of fun per day and poof.. instant model figure.. (ignore the lack of height)

there, short abrupt and to the point.. i blog so well (:

pffsh im so tired i dont know what im typing

so

ciao!
i hate that you think im just a shallow loud-mouth

2009-08-07T13:17:00.000+08:00

the heart's voice is muted
self awareness destroyed
conformity, my enemy
all for doubtful spoils

oh captain, my captain
the hypocrisy of peace

2009-08-05T00:14:00.000+08:00

well well, national day is almost here!! i don't know why but now that im not in school, i don't feel the oncoming excitment of national day.. (yes, i get excited for national day *does salute* )

maybe it's cos there's no public holiday to look forward to, or maybe there's no national day celebration in school to anticipate!! i lovee national day celebrations at school, i can sing my heart out and not be judged.. plus they give out goodie bags with the bubble-blowing kit in em!! i wanna blow bubblessss

well, this year, if it wasn't thanks to electrico's what do you seeee music video's endless repetitions on TV i wouldn't even know national day is near.. BUT i shall get into the spirit and blog about something totally relevant!!

our national pride and identity.

well, the liverpool vs spore match just took place not so long ago (26 JULY!!!! just saying *wink* ) and as usual, singaporeans manage to make a big hoo-hah over something puny...

see, some shallow, myopic and anal people (i shan't mention the details or i'd be heading to jail) wrote to the NewPaper about being all upset when the national anthem didn't play before the start of the match..

oh oh and some soccer player said he was DISAPPOINTED at how singaporeans went there to cheer for liverpool and not spore!!

oh me oh my, are you kidding me?!! we pay $88 friggin bucks to see spore players ATTEMPT to play football?? OF COURSE we're gonna be cheering for liverpool!! that's why we're there in the first place!! have you seen the stadium in an S-league match?? i can count the number of people there with 2 hands!..

look guys, we all know how lousy spore is at stuff like soccer.. it's ok to be bad at something!! i mean, you can look at the positives or concentrate on the negatives.. i'm certainly proud that the US of A wants to use our math textbooks in their schools, aren't you? but soccer?! c'mon, get through the world cup qualifers before i pay any attention please..

to the self righteous PAP butt kissers i say this: get over it! stop pretending you care about spore soccer cos we all know we don't.. now get back to studying or forcing your kids to study cos that's what spore is good at, you might as well attempt to jump onto the wagon..

and i quote melvin, some random stranger who too wrote to the NewPaper, " nobody cares about singapore soccer so stop pretending. if you really cared, you'd have at least tried to remember the starting 11 of the singapore team."

woah i applaud you melvin!! you're absolutely right!! i'll bet no one reading this knows any of the spore socccer players!! unless fandi ahmad was playing hmm..

oh and linking the fact that the national anthem wasn't played before the match to our lack of national identity is just presposterous.. i cry fallacy!! i'm sure if the all too familiar soundtrack of majulah singapura were to be played, the stadium would start singing.. thing is, the match was starting and helloo we are all too busy anticipating the appearance of torres so pardon us for not spontaneously breaking out into song..

but hey, guess what.. they might be onto something..

national identity? whether you wanna admit it or not.. we barely have any!!

wanna know why? sigh, let me enlighten you..

it's merely cos, look, we keep importing foreign talent!! (i'm saying this in the nicest way possible i promise you)

wayyyy before i even enrolled into NUS, people have been talking about the immense number of *coughchincacoughcough* scholars who'll overpopulate the scene and make everything one big competition.. they'll make the rat race into an international dispute if you know what i mean..

let's not stop there.. it's hard NOT to bump into someone who ain't aingaporean just merely taking a stroll through your neighborhood!.. what with domestic helpers and men who do the dirty job (hmm) plus plus plus im sure all yáll working people would understand the fact that foreigners are infiltrating our country!!!

im not gonna say it's a bad thing, cos for the most part it aint that bad.. but guess what, there's a trade-off my dear lovely government.. yup, the "national identity" you so fondly speak off is being sucked away cos we aren't a nation.. we are simply a cosmopolitan city, a business place..

so yea, i hereby end my not so politically correct rant.. (i'm proud of myself, stepping outta the mould HAHA) dont worry PAP i'll still vote for you.. largely due to the very effective propaganda strewn across our hallowed SS textbooks..

wow we're 44 singapore!! hurray!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE (and ana heh heh oh and ESTHER)

you know i love you
xoxo

2009-08-02T15:20:00.000+08:00

Did you know?..

the widespread of cancer is ever increasing in our nation, and around the world.. the omnious sound of death lingers around it.. cancer..

and yet, to many, little is known as to what causes this diseased cell..

well, cancer is caused by either a gain of function in a proto-oncogene, so that it becomes an oncogene, or a loss of function in a tumour supressor gene..

what are genes you ask?.. they are merely coding of certain nucleotides on the DNA that make up and controls the cells..

so you next ask.. what causes the gain or loss of function in the genes?

well, the DNA went through certain mutations.. that screwed up the nucloetides, hence the gene.. and ta-dah, cancerous cell that proliferates, that causes a deadly disease..

so it's entirely the problem of the DNA?

no no, for the answer, we have to trace things to the root of the problem.. true to some, mutations occurs spontaneously.. but mostly, it is caused by an accumulated exposure to carcinogens such as radiation perhaps..

hence the cause of cancer?

you see, the DNA was battered and bruised by carcinogens and thus become mutated.. so what is the origin of a diseased cell? why mere exposure to trauma and stress is all

the bad news? the cancer cell is the most hardy of cells and to destroy it would be a tedious task.. hence death occurs!!

did you guys learn something today?? haha

wow i sure had fun recalling all these!! i cant believe i actually rmb!!

i can't wait to start school again! i miss learning stuff and actually having input finally haha..

oh don't you just love biology..

God works in mysterious and wondrous ways.. :D

the naked face is veiled

2009-07-29T11:58:00.000+08:00

on hiatus till further notice.

lack of inspiration.

fear of stifled emotions.

greater fear of released feelings.

yawn.

2009-07-23T00:47:00.000+08:00

is it possible to long for something but not know what it is?

cos i could've sworn (but i won't) that my heart growled just now.. you know, like a hunger pang?

true it could've been a heart murmur of some sort (those aren't dangerous are they??)

haha oh wells, even if it is what the hey..

but yeah, i think my heart is aching from something lost, or never had before.. weird

lemme cheer myself up with....

pictures from the sleepover cum birthday celebration!! whee

i saw the cake long before it reached us cos noe was like umm tiptoeing towards us?!! haha, so i decided to act surprised just for the camera.. dramatic effect you know..

our gorgeous cake haha

my "what do we do now?" face

YAY! no one ate that thing, it tasted kinda nasty hahh

our super cute cards HANDMADE by baobao!! i love handmade stuff

girls picture!! the guys were facebooking or something.. pfft FB-ING?!!

i've successfully learnt the art of twit posing..

finally done with the FB-ing guys?!! look at my baobao she is adorable!

bao? no creativity much? do another pose next time, you should learn from twits, they are geniuses!! haha.. ahwei, were you that bored? sigh, give me a nice pose and i'll let you go back to fb..

woah, SHUAI DAI LE AH WEI!! haha resident beng is here to stay

ps: anyone else notice nao's retarded face? BWAHAHHA

this year's bday feels like it'll be very uneventful haha.. not that i mind, quiet gatherings of close intimate friends are best!

but yea, somehow this year i'm just not all that excited for my birthday, it doesn't even feel like it's coming lol.. maybe it's cos i'm getting old...

or maybe it's the eruption of horrid events that place themselves very nicely, like a red-carpet, leading all the way up till my birthday! awesome

hmm, gotta find a way to fill that empty feeling in heart.. will food do it? haha, shall go give it a shot..

im fat. deal with it. D:

2009-07-21T23:17:00.000+08:00

wisps of mist you call breath
but what is breath?
a mere sign of life?
how can something so robust be determined by insignificant fog?

and yet how true it is
that life dangles on a string
hangs on a thread
the fibres break
the seams tear

life lost is inevitable
but will yours be inconsequential?
take the reins
hold onto them fast

when your lungs hold no air
when your veins carry no blood
when your mind spring forth no thoughts
when your heart. is empty.
will it be too late?

R.I.P.
i will treasure them now

2009-07-20T15:25:00.000+08:00

If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything..

what are the convictions in your life?
what are the beliefs you hold on to at the end of everyday?

"because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction."
1 Thess 1:5

without conviction, no one will believe what you claim to.

hold on to what you believe.

i have chosen the narrow road.

for i walk through it with power and the Holy Spirit.

may i hear a resounding amen please? heh

cheers

2009-07-20T01:20:00.000+08:00

to follow or to lead?

conform or step out?

irony how the people who teach nonconformism pressure people into a mould

easy way out or hard way in?

narrow is the road less taken

dangerous is the narrow road

i could fall into pits of self righteousness and pride

too hard a journey, how do i know it'll be worth it?

the wide roads calls out to me

drive a stake through it
quench the fire within it
torn to pieces
chewed off my sleeve
it beats. no more

2009-07-17T20:01:00.000+08:00

woweeeeee i'm back people!! have i even been missed?! haha, i was at camp and it was beyond great.. it was awesome.. i've learnt so much more than i expected i would.. i mean considering i didnt expect much and all.... hmm

oh the sea of potential husbands did fight for my attention though.. HAHHAHHHAA please i'm kidding.. i honestly wasnt even thinking about that.. the camp was just so God oriented that all my energy was spent on him haha.. oh but the people were awesome.. i've come to meet the most genuinely nice people on the face of this earth and i am so glad i went for camp..

i owe it all to charlene tan oh and God of cos, who had his hand on everthing thoughout.. ahhhhh i'm like super tired but super happy right now.. like incredulously happy and satisfied.. it feels so good to be so close to God and of cos people of God who happen to be in the same age group hahh.. i'm lovin it :D

2009-07-07T16:34:00.000+08:00

thanks all for the concern.. and ahwei, do you realise half of what you said are insults? sheesh, so much for comfort.. but that's why i love ya though hehhhh

psst bao, please say you'd drink the milo i make kay? ahwei has no faith in me.. he fails to realise that the other time's milo tasted so bad cos the spoon was too short and when used as a stirrer all the powder was sedimented at the bottom of the flask, hence resulting in drain-water-ish milo hmm :/

anonymous? i have a pretty good idea who you are.. thanks anyway

nothing cures a shallow heart like mine better than a chick flick marathon and junk food.. no one wants to bring me to udders it is so unfair.. i.need.my.ice.cream yes, this is a threat

after basically spending two whole days doing nothing but eating and numbing my mind with mushy-gushy love stories i have OFFICIALLY gained 2kg.. lisa, you must be happy ): that's like preposterous i know.. i am udder-ly disappointed with myself.. (notice my cleverly hidden subliminal message sprawled across this sentence)

times like these make me NOT WANNA RUN or think of losing weight, i WILL regret this but if music's food for the soul, ice cream's food for the heart.. it mends it..

did anyone see the moon last night? it was gorgeous, like God put it there in the sky right in front of my house for me to gaze upon and remember that he's there for me.. sweeeeet.

breathe in.
breathe out.
pulse seems fine.
great.
cue smile.
:D
i'm fine dudes and dudettes,
really

2009-07-05T21:58:00.000+08:00

my abandoned wasteland welcomes me back

i wish i had the magical ability of expressing myself in words well.. both in a way that tickles your spirit (esther does it oh so well it amazes me) and also gets the message across well.

i don't have that. used to think i did. but i don't. cos right now what i'm feeling? i can't express it no matter how i try.

maybe cos i'm confused. maybe i don't even know what i want to say.

disappointment? present.

not with you, with me.

don't you hate it when you do/say stuff that you regret later?

if there was an award for that i'd win hands down, no competition.

i'm irrational and stupid, impulsive, impatient.

how can someone who spends so much time thinking also spend so much time doing things that lack thought?

ahh wait i know, i spend time thinking about what i regret doing.. whoa, vicious cycle. i'm caught

i impress myself with my innate ability to sprout nonsense that i don't agree with.

perhaps the problem's that i don't have a conviction.

do you know how it feels like having your heart stabbed repeatedly such that it is completely riddled with scars and wounds? wait for it.. the best part?.. i did it to myself.

emotional self mutilation? check

i'm a wreck..

staying strong is hard work. wisdom's not exactly one of my strong points really. what are my strong points again? i forget.

wrote this a few days ago. came so naturally it felt like i was merely resurfacing something buried under the lies.

Facades of different colours

Masks strewn everyplace

Take your throne chameleon

Partake in your dissemblement

Tongues burn

Teeth chatter

Lips tied together

I can say nothing?

I will say nothing.

A spider trapped in it's own weave

Struggle, feeble, destined to die

Cornered by deceit

My deception

Excuses of love

Attempts at vindication

But one forgets

Love does not delight in evil

But rejoices with the truth

God, forgive me. I have sinned. Change me, your approval alone I seek.

2009-06-30T18:55:00.000+08:00

woweeeeeee

guess what today is people!!

ít's real special, cmon guess!!

YUP!!! my parents left for indonesia today whee!!!!!!

uh-huh, there is NOTHING else happening today that is special enough to be mentioned on my precious blog..

haha pysched!!

today is LISA'S BIRTHDAY!!!

everyone!! together now!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LISA
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

words can't even describe how you've been a blessing to my life, so i'm not even gonna try.. you know how much you mean to me already!!! haha

on your 25th birthday (oops was i not supposed to say the age??) ok i mean on the day you turn a QUARTER OF A CENTURY OLD, here's wishing you great happiness and joy for the rest of your life.. which would be achieved easily if you would only find your rich pastor husband *sigh*

may you discover the Lord in fresh new ways each day and blossom into a wonderful woman of God..

I LOVE YOU LISASA!!

congrats for touching countless of lives really.. :D

2009-06-28T17:49:00.000+08:00

*prods blog with stick*

*blog twitches*

i wonder if it's still alive.. heh

okok, so i know i've been MIA, it's not like i've been busy or anything.. i've just been lazy.. yup, huge-ass revelation that one haha

ok since i know photos are BIG for people who go blog hopping, here's some to placate you guys.. (i am such a nice person)

yup yup, mingxian and darcie!! amazing how we're still friends who tell each other everything etc etc.. whoop!! these were taken at some art supplies shop.. we set the camera on timer on some shelf to take these lol..

some pple patiently waited for us to be done so they could walk to the next aisle, while some just walked on by and blocked the camera.. i mean what is wrong with these pple?! like 3 girls are just holding up a bunch of letters and staring into a shelf for nothing? don't they realise there's a camera there?! weird.

so anyway, i love MX AND DARCIE to bits cos they love me too!! haha, ok not cos of that.. it's cos they are genuine pple and that's hard to find..

oh and they've also opened up my eyes to the good and bad sides of having a boyfriend lol.. i need the education man! i dun wanna die lonely hahahahha

ok so anyway abs, the hongkong photos are in my phone memory and not in my memory stick.. so i cant upload them ): sheesh right, but it's ok.. the memory will always be in our hearts..

i have NOTHING to blog about, im sorry.. life has just been, pretty uneventful..

although if you force something outta me it'll prolly be the whole MJ's passing saga.. if you ask me, yea i guess it is sad that he is gone.. i mean he IS the elvis of our time.. the pioneer and groundbreaker of the music industry and his pieces transcend time.. classics..

i just wished more attention would be made in tribute to him and his works rather than the many scandals he was involved in.. i mean, who would wanna be remembered for all the wrongs you've done?.. remember the good, people!

since we all know this will end up being totally random.. lemme tell you a story of a boy.. (no not me smart-mouth)

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.

There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, was one quarter, two dimes and five pennies.

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

first impressions stick.. but never judge a book by its cover.. i shall tell you what happened to me the other day when i was on the bus..

so i saw this badly dressed, kinda fat middle-aged woman sitting in front of me and she was talking to this elderly woman who was sitting behind her on the bus.. well the badly dressed woman smelled kinda funky.. plus she was kinda cock-eyed in both eyes.. so you dont know if she's staring at you or not.. oh and also, she had like a short tongue so her speech was really kinda funny

so well in my mind i was already thinking, "gosh what a weird woman.. is she staring at me?! oh wait no.. that's just her screwed up eyes.. haha, wow i made myself laugh in my head.."

i know i know, i'm mean.. don't pretend such thoughts NEVER crossed your minds before..

ok so anyway the weird woman was talking pretty loudly to the old woman and i OVERHEARD, no not eavesdropping.. here's what when down scene by scene..

WW - weird woman

SS - sterotyping sarah (these are just THOUGHTS k.. rmb that, i didnt actually verbalise them)

WW: my husband he left me.. with my baby boy.. he ran away with another woman..

SS: no surprise there.. oh gosh i'm so evil..

WW: i have to take care of my son alone.. his name is sam sam

SS: i hope that's a pet name for samuel.. hahah sam sam would be hilarious if it were his real name..

WW: i had to work to provide for him and everything..

*before i could concoct another mean thing to think..*

WW: but i really thank my God.. he is a great God! he really provide for me and sam sam..

SS: uh-oh....

yep, felt like someone rammed a truck in my face lol..

that amazing woman, though she looked horrid, seemingly unworthy of love to many.. was proclaiming God's love and providence for her in her life.. i feel so ashamed haha..

don't ever ever judge someone by how they look!! i've learnt my lesson lol..

ok for someone who didn't have anything to blog, i sure wrote alot.. satisfied?! haha..

in tribute to the one and only MJ

Like a comet

Blazing 'cross the evening sky

Gone too soon

Like a rainbow

Fading in the twinkling of an eye

Gone too soon

Shiny and sparkly

And splendidly bright

Here one day

Gone one night

Like the loss of sunlight

On a cloudy afternoon

Gone too soon

Like a castle

Built upon a sandy beach

Gone too soon

Like a perfect flower

That is just beyond your reach

Gone too soon

Born to amuse

To inspire to delight

Here one day

Gone one night

Like a sunset

Dying with the rising of the moon

Gone too soon

2009-06-22T01:56:00.000+08:00

i'm so desperate for hugs i hugged myself today lol ):

i have zero inspiration to blog.. bear with me

or dog with me if you ain't a fan of bears *winks*

dogs are sooo my fave animal

like a shadow in the dark, i was difficult to see, but you picked me..

2009-06-14T19:39:00.000+08:00

TheAccused

An accusatory finger

Frustrated tones

Jaws all clenched

With eyes that burn

Who took the winds

Right out of my sail?

From my night sky

Made my stars disappear?

I turn left, i turn right

Looking, searching all around

Seeking the one

The blamed i could crown

The one who had caused

My dead and barren garden

I had to find him

That desire still burns

But he was no where..

perhaps he doesn't exist? perhaps he was a pure figment of your imagination? have you stopped to think that maybe the guilty is none ofther than the one who pointed that dastardly finger?

sometimes we are too eager to play the blame game.. too quick to find someone to point to..

sometimes the answer lies within ourselves..

our cynism, our negativity..

self destruction without us even knowing..

the misery you sometimes feel? the guilt perhaps? maybe it'll help if you just accept the blame..

for the first step to getting out of a problem is to realise you have one..

so what if you're to blame? everyone makes mistakes.. so you shot your mouth off the other day.. sure he started it.. but you could've prevented the whole thing from blowing up.. so admit your mistake, change and move on from there.. we are humans, we have the ability to learn from our mistakes..

the next time the same thing happens, the outcome would be different if you had accepted the blame no?.. but if you had puched it onto someone else, when will you learn? the same situation would happen again and again..

so take the blame.
use it to your advantage.

p/s: i promise this is the last deep post for awhile haha.. im heading off to camp now!! hope you enjoy this post.. when i come back i will post bimbotically about camp yay!!

PLUS exclusive photos of me and abi in friggin HONGKONG!! *winks winks*

till then,

tata for now (:

2009-06-13T00:23:00.000+08:00

WalkingOnTheLine

ever had thoughts creeping into your mind about the "grey areas" of our faith?
oh it's fine.. loads of pple do..

the bible just says don't be drunk, so how much alcohol can i consume before it's considered drunk?..

the bible never specifically say cannot have tatoos wad..

hard rock is bad but punk rock's fine!

which words are considered vulgar and which are not? i can stay away from f*** but what about shit and damn?!

ahh, what words of wisdom these are..

frankly, i hate it when people attempt to discuss about the grey areas in christianity.. i hate it when they try to draw the impossible line.. if a line could be drawn, it wouldn't be called a grey area!!

i don't even see the point in attempting to draw the line..

why draw it?!

so you can walk along it and justify yourselves?

to be able to say oh but im not sinning, i haven't crossed the line..

let's just look at what the bible says shall we?

1 Corinthians 10:23

23"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

even if the line can be drawn, ask youself this..

so.what.

the things that you do, are they constructive in anyway? so if we were to say, no to rock but yes to R&B let's say.. does listening to R&B benefit you in anyway? does it benefit your body, soul or mind in any particular manner? are you growing from it?

for you forget, our sole purpose in life is to advance the kingdom of God..

so before you do anything ask yourself this, are you glorifying God in your actions and speech?

1Corinthians 10:31
31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

(all you smartmouths out there who are asking oh then can we cycle? cycling ain't necessarily gloriying or beneficial wad.. i am attacking the grey areas here, buzz off with your wisecracks)

another thing to consider is.. are you causing a young believer to falter.. this is rather familiar, i shallt touch&go..

1 Corinthians 8:9-13

9Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.

10For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol's temple, won't he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols?

11So this weak brother, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge.

12When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.

13Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.

if what you do confuses a young believer or potential believers (which is basically every non-believer) stop it.. for if they stumble, its your head on the chopping block buddy..

chew on this..

'maybe we wanna draw the line cos subconsciously, we wanna see how far we can push the boundaries.. so that we can walk on the line..

but may i suggest to you.. how about instead of testing how near you can get to the line, test how far away you can get from the line.. move so far away that the line is a dot to you..

cos what if in the process of attempting to differentiate the black from the white in the grey, you cross that line?

or may i put forth the notion, you draw the wrong line?

i say, do i really need to know how much alcohol i can consume before i get drunk? what's the point?! do i get a prize or something?

or do i really have that limited a vocabulary that i have to use "grey"words?

move away from the line.. for it's better to be on the safe side..

stop trying to walk on the line..

may the line be a dot to you from where you're standing..

ps: i know i needa work on this too haha, let's all do it together then huh.. inch away from lines :)

2009-06-11T13:05:00.000+08:00

IAmGifted

we all have that special thing we do, don't we..

you may be smarter than the next person but she can sing wayyy better than you..

admittedly, some people are more gifted than others..

she's smartANDpretty and all i am is funny.. FUNNY?! i ain't a comedy!! sheesh

well question, does it matter?

ok true, to the world it does cos, we live in a sucky world. the hierarchy of talent and beauty is constantly smacking itself in our faces. but may i please draw your attention to the true definition of a gift?

gift
–noun
1. something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.

2. something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without it being earned

every gift or talent you have is precisely what it is.. a gift from God..

did you earn it? do you deserve it? God could've made you scum of the earth, you wouldn't have been able to do anything about that.. a bottom feeder, a waste of resources to breed.. but no, God chose to present you with your giftings..

hence the question should not be, "do i have more gifts than him?" or even, "is my gift more valuable and treasured than his?"

for the question should be, "how do i use what God gave me for his glory?"

to the insecure who think they aren't good enough, recognise this: that God handpicked what he bestowed upon you.. it doesn't matter what the world thinks, only what God thinks matter..

so you've got a gifting in an area that is often overlooked, like encouragment perhaps.. but if through your encouragment souls are saved and preserved, you have pleased God and he is proud of you for using your gift for his name..

and to the proud: how long are you gonna use what God gave you for your own glory?

pride ain't pretty my friend, we are called to be humble servants.. are you serving God with your giftings or flaunting them for self recognition?

the Lord gives and takes away, who's to stop Him from taking what he gave you in the first place?

Proverbs 16:5

5 The LORD detests all the proud of heart.
Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

if you can sing? worship!
speak well? preach!
smart? teach!
dance? do it before the Lord

for they are gifts, from the heavenly father, to you..

2009-06-10T17:34:00.000+08:00

WorthFightingFor

so the other day at family dinner, my sisters and i were getting all excited discussing our future lives and future husbands (haha yeah we do that..) and then one of my sisters starting saying how cool it is that we all kinda have our own thing and we can send our kids to each other's houses to get training..

like, my oldest sister can play the piano, drums, flute and harp.. so she was gonna be the music teacher for all our kids..

my second sister is the star soccer player of her school's soccer team (i am not kidding) and she was the one scheduled to train all our boys to become men..

my youngest sister is extremely hardworking (i assure you, more than me) and we were gonna send our kids to her house to study..

then it came to my turn right.. they were like, oh what's left? what can we use sarah for..

and then my second sister said, "bible study la! "

it was not said in a good way like encouraging and what not.. you could hear the scorn dripping from her tone..

well you see, people don't realise that my sisters aren't exactly like me in the spiritual sense.. they are kinda of the world if you know what i mean..

so anyway, when she said that, i was taken aback.. i could've easily sprung into my how dare you treat godliness with sarcasm speech.. maybe even throw in a you think you're heading to heaven just for believing?! well the devil believes and living like the world's gonna get you where he's going..

but at that point, i just held my tongue and said,"well that's a compliment.. thanks"

you see, that battle was not worth fighting for.. what was i gonna get out of it?

anger? check
bitterness? check
closed ears? checkcheckcheck

sometimes in the battle of being heard, of "spreading the light and truth to the lost world" we fight battles that are not worth fighting for.. by NO means am i saying that that soul ain't worth fighting for, i mean.. at that point in time, that situation, fighting would only lead to a lost for both sides..

we gotta be wise people.. choose your battles carefully..

for so what if you get your message across in a clear, crisp and consise way but it only leads to the person turning further away?.. are you deserving of a pat on the back?

this principal doesn't only apply for stuff like sharing the gospel..

in our everyday life, we meet people with different views and opinions on stuff.. they may be wrong, they may be way wrong.. but so what if you are right? so what if you shout your "right"views from the top of the mountains?

the kind of battles not fought with wisdom, only lead to wars

for we are called to be Christ's ambassaders.. are you forcing food down people's throats all the time? is that Christ like? did Jesus go right up to the pharisee's faces and say, "you going to hell buddy.."?

i don't think so..

cos whatever we do, we do in love.. and we do with the people in mind.. don't be such smart mouths all the time..

being smart and being wise are two totally different things..

Be Wise..

p/s: i know lisa did a similar post recently but i totally drafted this a looong time ago! haha, it's not a copy, it's an enhancment :D

2009-06-09T17:00:00.000+08:00

ManAfterGod'sHeart

i am talking about none other than King David.. the one God deemed as he who chases after His own heart.. we applaude david and his life, afterall, he IS the man after God's heart, how awesome is that! he must have been some kind of saint that david..

wrong.

let's review david's life shall we?

he, the king didn't go to war when he was supposed to, instead he stayed home and decided to go peer at some hot naked woman bathing.

he then committed adultery with her.

oh yeah, he killed the woman's husband to hide his sin.

let's not forget what a horrible father he was.. when his son Amnon raped his daughter Tamar, david sent amnon to exile.. wait no, david punished amnon for his great sin! nah, that wasn't it... david.did.nothing.

his family was in shambles, sons were killing sons, brothers murdering brothers..

PLUS, out of so many hymns and psalms he wrote, how many were complaints and grumbles? what a whiner!!

was david perfect? FAR FROM THAT

his sins were greater than any i have ever committed, i don't know about you..

then why on earth is he the man after God's heart?!

what we do know about david is.. everytime he committed a sin, he felt remorse. immediately, he would repent. once he knew he had hurt God, he was filled with anguish and grief. he confessed and changed..

did david ever commit adultery again? did he murder again? nope..

have YOU confessed a sin and went back to it after a few weeks or perhaps days of abstinence?
you're not alone..

sure, david whined about his life a lot.. he asks God why allow this to happen, why allow armies to invade yada yada.. HOW DARE HE DOUBT GOD this guy thinks he's all that.. i mean surely the man after God's own heart knows that God allows things to happen for a reason..

but yet, take a look at every psalm written by david.. he never fails to end with.. but still, praise be to God! you reign my mighty deliverer.. still i choose to rejoice!

did the bible ever say we can't present our most honest and open feelings to God? it doesn't in mine..

examine david's heart for a moment.. for in adversaries and hardships, he may be angered, frustrated.. but he chooses to praise God..

to put the cherry on top of all that.. when david appointed solomon as king at his deathbed, one of his instructions to solomon was to build a temple for God..

that's david's heart.. always looking to please God..

for even at his deathbed, he thinks of honoring God...

now that is putting God first in his life...

now THAT. is a man after God's own heart.

for God does not look at what you have done, he looks at what's inside..

2009-06-08T18:27:00.000+08:00

GoingThroughOurGadarenes

Matthew 8:28-34

28When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way.

29"What do you want with us, Son of God?" they shouted. "Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?"

30Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding.

31The demons begged Jesus, "If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs."

32He said to them, "Go!" So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water.

33Those tending the pigs ran off, went into the town and reported all this, including what had happened to the demon-possessed men.

34Then the whole town went out to meet Jesus. And when they saw him, they pleaded with him to leave their region.

one might question, why would God lead Jesus to a place where he would get rejected? didn't God consider Jesus' feelings? Jesus probably had to walk for miles to get to Gadarenes, he probably had to brave insane weather , endure aching feet.. why? why go through all that trouble to get rejected?

those who went to rad conf would confidently say OH I KNOW! cos in the end, Jesus still got accepted and his words still spread like wildfire through the area and many were saved! so it was worth it..

is that my point? technically that ain't answering the question is it? cos God could have easily made the crowds accept Jesus the first time.. same effort, same results.. why let Jesus' delicate heart and feelings get hurt the first time round?

could it be God wanted to prepare Jesus for the worst rejection at the cross? could it be God wanted Jesus to grow, mature perhaps, to accept circumstances the way they throw themselves at you? could it have been God's way to remind Jesus that He is in control?

we neglect the very possible spiritual growth Jesus could have earned from that trip to Gadarenes.. was Jesus upset when he got boo-ed off the stage? oh most certainly! who wouldn't? was he confused? did he felt like it was a waste of time and effort in the beginning? absolutely!

but God still made him go through it.

we all HAVE to go through our Gadarenes.. it is a compulsory.. to go through the hardships, the dry lands.. would we like it? nope.. would we understand it? probably not.. but it is essential for growth..

for God knows what he is doing, and you go through NOTHING without a reason.

perhaps taking that accusatory finger out of the sky for a moment would help you see.

2009-06-08T00:04:00.000+08:00

Prelude

with the closure of radical conference and the coming of church camp i figured, why not do something spiritual for the blog?.. it'll be timely i guess, considering how i really really want church camp to bring growth of some sort (lisa we could discuss this further haha)

to quote my fave queen (abi): to believe in Christ is like swimming against the current, if you aren't moving forward, you're moving backwards.

since i've had sudden inspiration, i hereby announce my committment to post something..*how to aptly put it..*godly? nah scratch that.. devotional perhaps? every day till church camp day

food for soul i shall say (marvel at my wordplay: food for thought, food for soul?.. get it?)

i don't know how good it'll be, let's just say this is an attempt.. feel free to comment and tag.. though i have a sinking feeling readership will fall for this week, i certainly hope it won't..

shall close now.

the grains keep falling in the sands of time
moments uncaptured escape me

grip tight, fortify your hold
to things that will not become dust

for dust is destined to be blown away
just like the sands of time

2009-06-04T12:51:00.000+08:00

i just saw the new moon trailer.. i have to admit i'm preeety excited.. we all know twilight: the movie was kind of a flop but you just can't place your finger on where the problem came from right?..

well, the answer is simple, your brains are just unwilling to admit it..
brace yourselves as i reveal what WILL shock you..
those with weak constituitions may want to look away..
what went wrong?..
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robert pattinson.

haha shocker ain't..

oh he's so hot, he's perfect, i just want him to sink his teeth into my neck..

poo! have you guys READ the book?! do you not know how edward is SUPPOSED to look like?

sheesh. look at rob.P!

o.m.g. his skull is oddly shaped and it scares me.

he ALWAYS has this half-asleep kinda look.

one of his eye is smaller than the other.

eew.

not convinced?

look at him! he looks like a druggie!

he needs help people..

(im not gonna admit i took the worst looking picture of the bunch)

so why am i excited (ok, just a lil..) for new moon? cos edward disappears rmb? hahhha.. and bells get to spend time with JAKE!

jake, i love him! sigh, tortured love always draws attention.. well, jake caught mine.. he knows that bells is in love with edwards but still risks life and limbs for her all the time.. ever ready to sacrifice for her.. aww..

well, the cherry on top of this chocolate syrup sundae (yumm) is that.. taylor lautner is hot!!

wait wait wait.. isn't edward supposed to look incomparably better than jake?!

YEA I KNOW!! aha oh well guess they made a booboo

wanna see more? i do :D

yay! my wish came true! H-A-W-T *grins*

so yea, will watch new moon and hopefully it'll be better than twilight.. oh wait, what am i saying.. of cos it will! cos jake will have so much more screen time haha..

while i do admit i sound completely air-headed right now.. who cares, lemme RANT about twilight for awhile.. yes, i am the master of ranting.. watch and learn..

so anyway, like i was saying.. jake's my fave character cos though he may seem to be a barrier between the oh-so-perfect love of bells and edward, he is actually a literary tool used for readers to be drawn towards the whole edward and bells scenario.. cos when people kinda hate the "third-party" , they'd be secretely rooting for the lead (edward) and that's the selling point..

cos readers would keep reading till edward gets the girl.. if there was no third-party, ed and bells would grow real stale real quick.. so steph meyer had to compromise on jake's feelings to get more readership!! wad a meanie ):

i may not seem to be making sense now? but thats the core of a rant ahhah, yea yea i know jake's a fictional charater but my heart goes out to him.. poor boy..

and since i DO believe in imprinting (haha yea i really am actually 10) that's there's one special person out there for you, im glad bells didn't go with jake, jake deserves better haha.. (umm though the thought of imprinting on bell's *shudder* daughter is kinda nauseating)

i am well aware that i am comparing taylor launter and robert pattinson based on looks.. rob may be the nicest person on earth and taylor may be some sort of a womaniser (but i know he aint hee hee).. that simply backs up my previous post, looks kinda matter.. :/

wells, that marks the end of my totally pointless and random rant.. uh, i shall redeem myself with the next post.. there is actually more than air in that big o' head of mine (:

taggies:

huiqian: HEY GIRL!! haha it's ok.. it's totally normal to watch disney movies hhahha it appeals to all ages!!

decanter: haha well since they are oppositely charged, if i put them together, they'd be attracted to each other! plus, if the proton is being used to stabilize the electron, it further proves that the electron cannot live without the proton.. plus the proton doesn't mind being used.. they complete each other.. deep stuff huh.. oh protons :D

2009-06-03T17:18:00.000+08:00

blogging intelligently takes too much.. perhaps i'll do it another day

like after i'm FINALLY done with angels&demons i'd blog about it.. it's real good

you know with so much time on my hands i should really increase my knowledge by reading up on stuff but nah.. i just rent chick flicks and rot my butt off.. hah yay me

i shan't attempt to live up to being "deep" all the time, it'd be hypocritical of me haha.. *raises brows* cos i think i really am a bimbo, enjoying the simple pleasures of eating chocolates while watching how the cute girl always get the hot guy..

i stumbled upon a video on youtube and it was all about how disney movies were stocked full of subliminal messages.. it was pretty funny.. i think that's why they switched from drawings to those pixar-animated kinda movies.. it's harder to hide the word "sex" in computer generated graphics i guess heh

why the random bringing in of that piece of information? so i can link it to what i wanna talk about.. HOW SEX SELLS..or good looks at least..

why is it that most of the time shows/dramas and what nots, will have good looking leads? and if the leads are not good looking, they eventually will be.. the ONLY show that doesn't have this is wo jiao jing san shun..

and i know a ton of people who were rooting for them to break up cos she was too ugly for him ): why?! why cant the ugly girl get the hot guy? why must the leads be good looking??

cos good looks matter.. they shouldn't, but they do haha..

so should one "conform to the patterns of this world" and attempt to look good the way the world defines it? or just be an "original", be who you wanna be.. yet bear the consequences of possibly being shunned.. <- this ain't an exaggeration, my sister saw how an ugly man failed to get through a job interview, sad huh..

i wanna be with you more than how a proton wants to be with an electron
(how's that for a pick-up line? it's so aww-ish!!)

2009-05-24T22:47:00.001+08:00

watch this.

gorgeous voices, i love it..

notice the look on the faces of some of them as they sing, totally indulging in the melody.. child-like innocence, simply singing makes them so happy..

people ask me if i'm sure i wanna be a missionary after my studies.. after all it'd be common to think i'm pretty successful in terms of studies and all, why not move on to bigger and better things that could rake in the benjamins..

to these people i scoff at, for at the end of the day, what can money buy you?.. seeing those kids, even on lousy youtube mode, that's priceless.. those kids (they're from africa btw) know how happiness is derived from contentment.. for they have nothing, no monetary assets to their name.. but they are contented..

while at the other end of the spectrum, how many power and money hungry people out there are miserable, for there is never enough.. there isn't a limit to how much you can have and the chase of these things bring no sense of satisfaction..

i know that pursuing the things of God is all that matters and i will never let it go.. being able to interact with kids who are absolutely delightful to be around is just an added bonus haha.. i've had enough of the typical singaporean kids who are often seen throwing tantrums for not being able to get that toy they wanted..

over-indulgent brats.. go suck eggs

But you know that I will run
You know that I will follow you

2009-05-18T23:53:00.000+08:00

Relationships

undisturbed by torrents

yet bruised in the winds

forbiddingly intense

still, imperative to live

bringing fortresses to rubble

giving heartaches that lasts

yet joy and strength's concurrent

with its presence spring forth life

construction

destruction

wisdom i need
wisdom we need

can't sleep, mulling over this..

relationships can build you up, yet tear someone apart.. unavoidable, we need it to live.. so we need to be able to deal with it properly, and we cannot do it alone.. i pray that God will lead my step in every relationship i have with people.. that may none fall apart and may all be honoring to Him..

talk about degrading societies, more and more states in the U.S are legalising gay marrriages.. when i accidentally saw the horrifying image of adam lambert frenching a guy, i scrolled down to the comment box to see stuff like "wow that's hot!"

just about a decade ago seeing two guys hold hands was enough to cause an uproar.. now it is socially acceptable in every part of the world.. (ok maybe not tribal lands or something) in fact it is socially UNacceptable to frown upon such behaviour as we have all learnt from the AWARE incident..

when miss california answered in her missUSA pagent question that gay marriages are unacceptable, they interviewed some christians and asked them how they felt about it and they said they were ashamed of her cos we are to love our neighbors as ourselves and gay marriages should hence be acceptable as we are to embrace them..

mmhmm, ever heard of loving the sinner but hating the sin?.. bahh, what can you expect from a country which has gay churches right..

i dont know why i'm blogging about this anyway, controversy is not my cup of tea.. i just feel indignant about the compromises made to the word of God.. by no means am i saying i will isolate gays/lesbians and burn them at stake, nor will i even in the least ostracise them.. it's simply appaling to me what the world has come to..

will it be that in a few years i'd have to accept pple who have sex with animals?.. the recoil you feel from this very statement was what used to be the reaction towards gays.. the slippery slope argument stands tall for perversion has creeped into our society and will only continue expanding..

we are numb, numb to it all.. losing your virginity becomes essential in social acceptance when it used to bring utter disgrace.. teaching abstinence before marriage soon became the as-long-as-you-know-he's-the-one argument which further evolved to: just wear a condom.. look at yourselves, look at what we have become..

humans acting like uncontrollable animals with their irrepressible animalistic instincts.. some may tell me i'm over-reacting, afterall spore's not that bad.. well, i'll try to remind myself of that fact the next time i see couples groping each other on the mrt.. or the bus... or lifts.. or corridors.. or stairways.. bus stops.. under some random tree...

now that that's outta my system.. the real reason for this blog post..

the poem says it all i guess... relationships are hard to deal with sometimes, for some maybe all the time.. but we are called to love, i need patience.. friendships forged were meant to last a lifetime and not be blown away at the slightest of winds..

may everything i do and say be out of love..

taggies:

abijoy: you have no arm fats either please?!? have you seen yourself?.. skinny little thing )):

esther: hey estee if i had more thumbs i'd def make them give you a standing ovation.. that's how much i love you haha!

char: sigh... dun ask *sobs sob* haha, random quote la! seemed fitting wad..

huiqian: GURRLL!! when you coming back?? or not anymore cos of swine flu?... anyway evidence of your loooong absence from spore.. michelle chia aint lux girl for like years already la!!.. lol

2009-05-14T15:22:00.000+08:00

did you guys see michelle chia and shaun chen's wedding?!.. it was so over-the-top and extravagent.. but at the same time, oh so sweet.. they are so in love it's inspiring!.. haha

i love weddings, the coming of two people who are committing their lives to each other.. what a meaningful sight..

she's so pretty and he's uhh.. kinda good looking la i guess..

marriage is so impt!! *nods vigourously*

this is a super random post lol.. i just saw their wedding and felt aww-ish.. in the words of elton, warm and fuzzy.. can i end here? yes i shall... i just did this to make sure my blog aint dead lol..

ps: michelle's entire top half of her wedding gown was made of crystals and diamonds?!?? pfft it's nice to have sponsors..

better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all..

2009-05-09T00:37:00.000+08:00

hah oh well i promised someone a bimbotic post so here goes.. i have nothing in mind so i'm just gonna ramble on and on about random stuff and i'm pretty positive that in the end it'll turn out kinda on the bimbotic side hahh..

i think that esther's a great blogger, loveee reading her blog.. it's a very good balance of bimbotism and everyday life kinda thing (so i know how she's doing wayyyy over there) and intellect.. mmhmm, 2 thumbs up

so anyway, lemme tell you about the latest movie i watched, xmen origins.. well, watch it on a $6 day is all i'm gonna say.. why?.. cos the lead girl, kayla something, she aint pretty!! plus, my fave xmen of all time -GAMBIT (whoo everyone start cheering!) ain't hot enough! it's his friggin debut, can't you find some hotter guy?!?

ok ok so i take into consideration there might be some of my readers who DON'T know who gambit is.. lemme show you

gambit's power is that he can channel energy (something like chakra i guess) into cards and like kinda flick them so they turn into spinning cards of death (W-O-W) plus he uses a staff for physical combat.. staffs are always cool, like moses :D

whoa.. smokin' (:

i safely rest my life in your hands!.. *swoons*

mmhmm.. get the idea?.. in come gambit hollywood-ised..

pfft.. I KNOW!! what a douche looking guy..

sheesh, they should totally increase the pay of actors so more eligible people would audition for IMPT roles like gambit.. it's such a rob patterson for edward moment... SCREW UPPPP.. this guy's name is taylor somethin.. TAYLOR?! as in taylor swift mmhmm.. she's pretty, so is he..

wow i amaze myself sometimes, i really do sound kinda bimbotic now don't i hah.. need.... sleep.... i'm heading to bed now.. ciao for now.. lis? sleepover soon? haha before uni starts.. which is like a before you know it kinda thing!! (:

2009-05-08T12:12:00.001+08:00

A man and his young son were once going with their donkey to the market. As they were walking along by its side, a countryman passed them and said: “You fools, what is a donkey for but to ride upon?”

So the man put the boy on the donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”

So the man ordered his boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn't gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”

Well the man didn't know what to do, but at last he took his boy up before him on the donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passersby began to jeer and point at them. The man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said: “Aren't you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours—you and your hulking son?”

The man and boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey's feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders.

They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together, he was drowned.

the moral of the story? you can never please everybody..

oh how we know this theory in our heads, but do we act upon it? no.

man's natural and insatiable appetite to be liked is the downfall of many.

for by trying to please all, you will please none.

so much guilt, more regret.

striking a balance is way too hard.

maybe i should swing to the other extreme.

don't worry about me i'll be fine.

all i need is some smarts lessons.

unaffect me.

thanks lis and giana!! 2 of the best people ever to have stepped into my life. don't leave. ever. i love you guys to bits

2009-05-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

Change.

i laugh too loudly sometimes.

i comment about things and people tactlessly.

i think i'm fat.

i talk to inanimate objects.

i smile to myself quite often.

i love ice cream.

i trip over my own feet.

i like to stare out the window when it rains.

i don't know the order of the alphabet till i sing it in my head.

i sing in the shower all the time.

i dream a lot.

i think a lot.

i talk a lot.

i touch a lot.

bits and pieces that make me who i am, some more pleasant than others. and some of them simply make me someone i don't wanna be. change, i promise i will. give me time to show you good things come to those who wait. time.